


How could I ever hope to forget you

by Erizee



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Amnesia, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Freak Fam, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers, as in "theres plot besides the ship", canon divergence from 3x19 on, hella slow burn, it's all a mix tbh, ivy is a good sister, s3e19, thats what i try to do anyway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-05
Updated: 2017-11-05
Packaged: 2018-11-09 13:50:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 37,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11105865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Erizee/pseuds/Erizee
Summary: Rapid footsteps ripped Oswald out of his thoughts. He lifted his head up to look at the thin man that entered just a moment later.He had dark hair and terribly old-fashioned glasses, cheekbones that looked like they could cut someone and an expression Oswald had no idea how to decipher.He was sure he had never seen this man in his life. Surely he would remember otherwise.





	1. Plants and Bedsheets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go again, another multichapter about these two dorks :)))  
> The title is actually original for once I'm impressed with myself.
> 
> I really don't know how often I'll update this but I wanted to get this out there before the finale starts and murders us all :))  
> Well, I hope you enjoy my 1am au idea

All he could feel was pain.  
The pain of a bullet ripping through him once again.  
The pain of the blood spilling out of his chest like a warterfall.  
The pain of his injured knee hitting the concrete below, giving off an unpleasant crack.  
The pain of seeing the face of the man he _still loved_ , no matter how much he wanted to hate him, twisting into fear, shock and rage all at once. Why was he so scared? He had won, hadn't he? Oswald was dying. Just like Ed wanted.  
He let out a ragged breath, feeling his lungs fill up with his own blood.  
The horrid fabric of his jumpsuit was completely drenched, even more so than before.  
The world tilted and before long all he could feel was the cold.

\------

The world slowly took form again as Oswald opened his eyes, blinking rapidly to ward of the sun stinging in his eyes.  
He gently lifted himself to sit up against the wall behind him as he took in his surroundings, wincing at a sharp pain in his chest.  
He was alone, laying in an unfamiliar bed with clean sheets and a fancy wooden bedstead. A huge window on the wall next to him filled the whole room with the orange light of the sunrise, the transparent curtains only warding off a fraction of the bright light.  
The door was ajar, an image that might have been jarring, had it not been for the huge plants covering almost every single surface of the room, giving off an odd sense of calmness. It was almost soothing.

A soft, unfamiliar melody filled the air around him, for some reason making his chest swell with both contentment and grief. The smell of a homecooked meal hit his nose, apruptly and unexpectedly. It smelled like roast, potatoes and a sauce Oswald wasn't sure how to name. Along with it came a sweet scent that reminded Oswald of something, but he had no idea what it was. It smelled like home.  
Something cold and wet hit his hand. It didn't take long to find the source. His eyes were filled with tears and were slowly, but surely finding their way down his cheeks.  
Did he know this place? He didn't feel like it, but why else would it evoke such strong emotion?

Rapid footsteps ripped Oswald out of his thoughts. He lifted his head up to look at the thin man that entered just a moment later.  
He had dark hair and terribly old-fashioned glasses, cheekbones that looked like they could cut someone and an expression Oswald had no idea how to decipher.  
He was sure he had never seen this man in his life. Surely he would remember otherwise.

"Oswald! You're awake!"  
The man almost jumped to get towards Oswald, gripping his shoulders with vigor before pulling him into a fierce hug, either oblivious or ignorant to Oswald freezing in his arms.  
"I can't believe it worked. Who knew plants could be _that_ effective in healing."

Oswald pushed the strange man away with all the strength he could muster.  
"Who the hell are you?? Where am I?? What have you done to me??"

The man's delighted expression seemed to break down into one akin to heartbreak. "You.. you don't remember??" "Remember _what_ exactly?"  
The stranger seemed to struggle collecting himself before opening his mouth again.  
"What  _do_ you remember?"

Oswald scoffed but tried to remember the last thing that happened.  
"I....I was in a trunk.... and...there were cops...Jim Gordon was there...and... he shot me.." Oswad frowned, trying to grasp at the thin straws his mind was providing him, oblivious to the stranger tensing up in front of him. "No..wait.. he didn't shoot me but he pushed me into the river.. and then...." His mind felt like jelly, wobbly and without substance, twisting away from him whenever he tried to make sense of it. "The rest is sort of blurry."

Oswald looked up again to see the stranger take on a both pained and hopeful expression.  
"You mean... you don't remember me? Or the.. the docks? The fireplace? Or the club? The cages??"  
Oswald shook his head and frowned. What happened after Gordon dumped him in the river?? He had thought he had simply passed out from the cold but apparently that wasn't the case. So... what was going on??

The stranger seemed to think the same thing. He stared at Oswald with wide open eyes without blinking until his eyes started to glisten.  
Oswald rolled his eyes and pushed the strangers further away to stand up. He hobbled towards the door and cursed Fish for breaking his leg. Talk about an overreaction.  
"As... informative as this talk may have been, I have to go. See you never whoever you may be."

Before Oswald could reach the door his knees buckled from sharp pain in his chest. He clutched his chest almost violently and collapsed to the floor. Breathing raggedly and caughing he tried to get up, but his legs wouldn't do his bidding.  
Two warm arms lifted him up and Oswald supressed a pleasant shiver. What the hell was up with him??  
The stranger laid Oswald back on the bed and gently tucked him in. "I'm sorry Oswald but I cannot let you leave like this. Your injury isn't fully healed yet and with an amnesia like that.."  
He trailed off, a pained expression on his face.

"Excuse me, I.... you should get some rest. Your injury might open again and I don't think that would be advisable." The stranger stood up and left the room, gently closing the door behind him, an unreadable expression on his face. Oswald listened to his footsteps fade into the song that was still playing, though it was muffled by the wooden door. He breathed deeply, trying to calm himself. The hole in his memory was terrifying. What if someone had tried to kill him? Or worse, what if his plan to double-cross Falcone had failed?  
He couldn't just sit in this awfully comfortable bed all day while someone might be out there, intent on murdering him.  
He needed to find out, one way or another.

\---

A thousand thoughts and feelings were whirling around The Riddler's head.  
Anger at himself for not letting Oswald die right there in that dirty alley, relief Oswald had survived the terrible wound the court guy had inflicted on him, fear he might run from him and the revenge he still owed him, hope Oswald would stay despite it.  
The Riddler took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes with his thumb and index finger as he walked down the stairs into the living room.  
And why did Oswald forget everything? Amnesia wasn't usually caused by a chest wound and a case like this was very uncommon. It seemed Oswald had forgotted everything that happened in the last three years and the Riddler didn't know how to handle it.  
He still needed to suffer for what he did and for what he might to to this carefully built new persona, but.... not like this.  
It was no use to let someone suffer for something they didn't remember. He should wait until Oswald remembered, maybe stick around help him along the way. Yes, that would be best.

The Riddler sighed at the sight of Ivy Pepper, sprawled out on the couch he had so many pleasant memories of.  
"So? How is he?"  
He looked away and tried to collect himself. He couldn't let this girl see his inner conflicts, she would only use it against him.  
She sat up and looked at him accusingly.  
"Hello? Earth to Nygma? You could at least  _tell_ me how my friend is if you gotta lock me in here before I can talk to him."  
The Riddler grit his teeth at this repeated display of disrespect towards his name.  
"He's fine. His injury is healing fast."  
She stood up and slowly walked towards him. "..And..?"  
He swallowed. "And... he doesn't remember anything that happened in the last three years."

Ivy said nothing. The Riddler could almost hear the wheels turning in her head.  
"So... what does that mean? For you, I mean. Are you going to kill him now because I swear if you lay a hand on him I will-" He cut her off by covering her mouth with his hand, ignoring her outraged expression.  
"Don't worry, I will do nothing of the sort." She pushed his hand away and stared at him warily. "..Why?"  
The Riddler swallowed. "Taking revenge on someone that doesn't remember isn't revenge. It would be useless to kill him now."

Ivy's left eyebrow lifted. "Really."  
He nodded rapidly. "I'll kill him once he remembers. Until then I'll stay here and make sure he's s-..... not trying to kill me."  
Ivy's eyebrow was almost hitting her hairline at this point. A hint of a smirk was showing at the side of her mouth. "Yeah. Sure. Of course."

Her expression sobered down only a second later. "It's sweet you're worried, but do you really think I'm that dumb? Do you think I'd let you stay with Pengy when you  _still_ think you want to kill him?? Sorry buddy, but that's not going to happen."  
The Riddler turned towards her and sent her the most intimidating look he had to offer. She didn't even wince.  
"And how do you expect to bring back his memory without me? They have to be triggered by similar events and I don't think you know him well enough to ensure that. How long have you known him? A month?" Her resolve seemed to falter for a second, only strengthening his. "I've known him throughout almost all three years he's forgotten. I can help him, unlike you."  
She crossed her arms and raised her chin defiantly.  
"Maybe I don't want him to remember. Maybe I think he's suffered enough and is better off without those memories."  
The Riddler raised his eyebrow and leveled her with a look that almost screamed "are you kidding me".  
"Sure, you'd sacrifice your so called friendship to him by withholding his past only out of an effort to spite me. Sure."

Ivy rolled her eyes and sighed.  
"Fine. You can stay. But-" she added at the Riddler's triumphant expression "-don't think for even one second that I'd let you out of my sight. If you hurt him even the slightest bit, if you dare to lay a hand on him.. You die."  
He swallowed at the threat. Sure, she was only a young girl in the body of a grown woman, but there was an intimidating sort of air around her that made it hard for him not to see her as his equal. Even though she clearly wasn't. Of course not.

He smiled his most innocent smile. "No need to worry. Until he is back to being himself, I won't touch him." He raised his hand as if he was swearing it. She still wasn't impressed, but before any of them could say another word, the sound of a car outside broke them out of it.  
They exchanged a quick glanced and barelled towards the door, pushing the other away as they tried to reach it as fast as possible.  
The Riddler could only catch a quick glance at the number plate as the car disappeared in a cloud of smoke, taking off into the city.

"Didn't you close the door when you left??" Ivy pushed him away accusingly. "He's gonna be all alone in a city he'll barely recognise you idiot!"  
The Riddler scoffed. "How exactly is that my fault?? You're the one that insisted on bringing him here instead of an actual safe location he couldn't escape from!" "Yeah and you're the one who locked me in here when I told you he was waking up! You scared him away with that ridiculous hat! Why are you even wearing that monstrosity indoors??"  
Ivy jabbed her finger into his chest. "Oswald is my friend. And _you're_ the one that almost killed him. It's your fault he's gone."

She hurried towards the couch and shrugged on her jacket, almost getting her arms tangled up in the sleeves.  
"Stay. Here. If you're gone when I get back our deal is broken. Got it?" Ivy fixed him with a stern glare and the Riddler nodded reluctantly.  
"What are you doing?" She rolled her eyes. "I'm going to save my family, duh."  
Her deep red hair was the last thing he saw before the door slammed shut behind her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :))))))))))))))))) I'm always a sucker for construcive criticism y'all :)))))


	2. Broken Glass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for leaving so many kudos holy shit  
> I hope you enjoy this chapter :D

Oswald let out a deep breath as he took the first turn into the city. At least he was still in Gotham. That at least answered one of his myriad of questions. Who was that weird guy with the glasses? And who was that red headed girl? How much had he forgotten? Had it been days, weeks or even months since the docks?

In any case, he still knew how to break into a car. That was at least something. Stealing it had been way too easy. They hadn't even noticed him coming down the stairs, too enraptured by what sounded like a fight between two five year olds.  
Oswald hadn't bothered to listen. He wasn't planning on spending a single second more with either of these people. There were more pressing matters to tend to than two dorks bickering about who knows what.

Like who ran Gotham at that point. What happened to Fish and Falcone. Had he been successful infiltrating Maroni?  
He decided to pay a visit to the library first. Reading old newspapers was an easy way of gathering information without getting himself into trouble he might have been able to avoid had he had the necessary info.  
Besides, how was he supposed to know who was on his side at this point? Maybe Falcone had been able to uncover his plan, though Oswald highly doubted that, or Maroni hadn't bought his acting and was paying for assassins to shoot him on sight.  
No, the library was safer. How many thugs read books nowadays anyway? No one that knew him and might be a threat would be there.  
"The library it is", Oswald muttered as he took the next turn.

He caught a glimpse of his face in the mirror of the car and winced. He looked terrible. The rings underneath his eyes were almost completely black, his hair fell flat against his forehead and his skin was paler than usual, which wasn't exactly colourful either. He wasn't even wearing a suit.  
Oswald groaned in pain as the wound in his chest started to hurt again. He pushed the mirror to the side and stoically stared at the road ahead.

Soon enough the library came into Oswald's line of sight. He halted the car as close to the door as possible, not exactly keen on one of Fish's allies seeing him. As far as Oswald remembered, she expected him to be dead. She couldn't know he wasn't. Though not much was clear to him at the moment, that at least was.

Oswald hobbled towards the door and entered as quickly and quietly as he could.  
Unsurprisingly, the main room was completely empty aside from the receptionist reading one of the returned books. She glanced up when she heard the bell above the door ring and looked down again, only to stare at him with a shocked expression.  
Oswald hobbled towards her and smiled his most polite smile. "Excuse me Miss, would you mind telling me where I can find the newspapers?"  
She didn't answer. Oswald resisted the overwhelming urge to roll his eyes in favour of asking her again, more urgently this time. Politeness wasn't most mobsters' favourite method of persuasion, but for someone like Oswald, a small man with a limp and a pointy nose it was all he had.

"Oh.... of course. The newspapers are over to the side of the last shelf on the right."  
She kept on staring and Oswald contemplated letting her stare into the barrel of a gun instead, but he decided against it.  
She was uncomfortably impolite and Oswald resented it, but killing someone this early was never a good idea. She might be some thug's innocent girlfriend and in that case Oswald _really_ didn't want to be responsible for her death.

He thanked her and started looking through the stacks of newspapers. Thankfully they were sorted by date so finding the day of the Wayne murder wasn't exactly hard.  
Oddly enough the stack of newspapers newer than that was bigger than he had anticipated. Maybe the library had added newspapers from other sources than the Gazette...

One newspaper in particular stood out to Oswald. The date on top displayed a day a few months after the Wayne murder.  
_Months???_ He had thought he would have forgotten a few days, two weeks at most.  
Frowning, Oswald unfolded the newspaper and gasped at the headline.

GOTHAM CITY TORN APART BY RIVAL GANGS

Was this... what he thought it was??  
Could this mean his plan had actually succeeded??  
As he read the article, Oswald could almost feel tears forming in his eyes. His plan had actually been successful. He had manipulated Maroni into diving headfirst into a gang war with Carmine Falcone, leading to both men's disappereance.  
Neither this nor the next newspapers mentioned their whereabouts or whether they had survived, but Oswald was confident in his abilities. If he had managed to do all... _this_ , surely he had managed to get both of them killed.  
The newspapers didn't mention Fish but that much had been obvious. She had never been a big enough fish (Oswald almost laughed at the irony) for the newspapers to pick up on her activities. If anything, her absence was a good thing. It meant she wasn't the one currently controlling the city. Oswald hadn't put this much effort into his plan only to let her of all people take all he had worked for.

He started looking through some of the newer newspapers, some of them as new as two years after the Waynes were killed.  
So much time... he had missed a full two years at least. Oswald felt like he was falling. The headlines of each new newspaper he was flipping through seemed to scream at him accusingly.

THEO GALAVAN ELECTED MAYOR

MAYORAL ARREST SHAKES THE CITY

ARKHAM ASYLUM UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT

INDIAN HILL ESCAPEE DESTROYS GOTHAM CITY BANK

He had missed so much. The names on each headline felt so far away.  
Theo Galavan, Nathaniel Barnes, Hugo Strange, Jerome Valeska..... None of those names held any meaning for him.  
Who were those people?? What had they done?? Why had the city changed so much in the years he had forgotten??  
Monsters roaming in the streets, criminal activity down to a minimum, lunatics with cults wrecking havoc, the GCPD apparently now under an almost military regiment. Or was that over by now??  
The dates and headlines became blurred and mixed. Oswald was being sucked into the hole in his memory, the newspapers only furthering his panic.

Suddenly it all stopped as he heard a woman's voice from the entrance of the room, the a hushed voice barely audible through the room, yet still ripping up the silence.  
Oswald risked a glance at the receptionist and saw her whisper into a telephone. Even those had changed.  
He tried to listen to what she was saying. No doubt it was important, she wouldn't whisper it if it wasn't.  
Oswald tilted his body to the right and went completely quiet, his breath barely making a sound.

Despite that, he could only make out a few words.  
"Cobblepot......alive.....GCPD......"  
Oswald grit his teeth. He should have known she was a spy. Everyone was a spy nowadays.  
She instantly set down the phone when she saw him aproach her. Oswald smiled as he reached for the knife he had grabbed on his way out of the mansion and he knew this time it wasn't a polite one. Her expression shifted from a nervous smile to downright fear.  
Apparently he had earned _some_ respect.

"M-Mister Mayor..? Is.. is everything alright?"  
Oswald's hand froze inside his pocket. He stared at her in barely disguised shock.  
"Y-you... what did you just say?"  
"I-I said, Mister Mayor-" Oswald cut her off with a simple gesture of his hand. Thankfully he had remembered to raise the one not holding the knife.

Without saying another word Oswald turned around and left the library, the shock still inside him, slowing his movements and making his heart race.

Mayor?? He.. he was the mayor?? That couldn't be right, how the hell did that happen??  
Oswald had spent months planning his betrayal of Fish Mooney, he had calculated every single change of plan of how to become the king of the underworld, and for some reason... had his older self thrown all that away just to be mayor?? Was he actually a "good guy" now??  
Oswald shook his head. He had never played by the rules others had set for him and he knew he wouldn't have started no matter what happened.  
Being the mayor was obviously just the image he showed the world. He would never have abandoned the power he had worked for for so long just to gain false power.

But the question still remained: Why? _Something_ must have happened for Older-Oswald to pursue a political career. He knew himself. Change wasn't necessary unless something else was destroyed.  
Which meant..... he had lost something. Something very important to him. But what?? His unexpected empire??  
He couldn't think of anything else that might have been responsible.

Now Oswald regretted leaving the library this soon. Of course the important things wouldn't be in the headline, inner workings of Gotham's gangs never were. They hid inside share prices, marriage and death certificates.  
Well. He couldn't go back inside now. The receptionist had told _someone_ he was alive, since he apparently had faked his death twice. It was too dangerous.  
Gang members had enemies, but politicians had nemesises. And he, as the mayor, with all the power that came with such an occupation however false it might be, surely had more than what was customary.

 _You're actually the mayor._  
Oswald grinned to himself and straightened his back as he opened the door to the car.  
His mother had been right. He had become great man. He held the power of controlling the city in his hand. With a single signature he could tear entire parts of the city down if he wanted to.  
People respected him. The receptionist sure did.

He decided to pay Fish's old club a visit. Surely she had to be dead by now. If she hadn't died in the gang war Oswald had read about, then as soon as he had gained the necessary power to kill her.  
Oswald couldn't think of a single reason he would let her live for with the way she had treated him while he had worked for her and with the power of both the gangs and the city officials she had no place to hide.  
She had to be dead.

At first Oswald had trouble finding the club. He remembered it's exact place as the last time he had been there felt like mere hours ago to him, but the streets were unfamiliar and surprisingly empty.  
After driving past a familiar door with a broken umbrella neon light next to it twice, Oswald stopped the car.  
He walked up to the door and cursed Fish again for breaking his knee. The pain was almost unbearable.

Instead of the morbid fish bone that used to serve as a sign for everyone to know who this club belonged to, a broken umbrella was sitting in its place.  
Oswald stared at it with wonder as an odd sense of familiarity took over him.  
He couldn't know for sure but he had a feeling the club belonged to him now.  
He grinned and stifled a laugh. He had beaten Fish at her own game. He had taken from her what she was proudest of.  
The fact that the club most likely wasn't used anymore, due to the broken glass of the umbrella and the dirt on the door, didn't bother him. What counted was the knowledge that Fish had lost and he had won.

"Penguin?!"  
A deep voice broke Oswald out of his chuckling. He turned around almost too fast for his knee to keep up, making him hiss in pain.  
Before him stood a man he could only describe as a giant. He stood several feet away from Oswald but he still had to look up to him.  
This man could easily crush his head if he decided to hit him.

That wasn't what caused Oswald to gasp and stumble backwards in fear though.  
He knew this man. He had been in Fish's club sometimes when he had escorted Maroni. Oswald recalled him sometimes sending a glare into his direction whenever he accidentally messed something up.  
This guy was bad news. He was loyal to Maroni and if Oswald had really managed to make Maroni and Falcone kill each other, surely he had to be angry.

"I can't believe it boss! I heard rumors you were alive but it's been forever since anyone has actually seen you, so..."  
Oswald swallowed hard. Boss?? How many more suprises would this trip to the city entail?? Now even Maroni's loyal soldiers were on his side??

The thug stepped closer to Oswald.  
"What's the plan?"  
Oswald hesitated. He had no idea what his current self was struggling with but if everyone had thought he was dead there had to be someone he could send this guy to.  
"You will.... call your associates and tell them to stand by. I will give you your orders soon."  
Even giving such a simple order was exhilerating for Oswald. He had never given orders before, not that he remembered anyway, and finally not being on the receiving end of the hierarchy was unbelievably satisfying.  
It was even more satisying to actually see his order being executed.  
The thug turned and left, leaving behind a jittery and giddy Oswald smiling like a child on christmas morning.

After the thug was gone Oswald turned to drive to his next destination, wherever the hell that may be, only to bump into something.  
His broken leg couldn't provide the necessary support, causing Oswald to fall to the ground, violently cursing whatever thing had obstruced his way.

Looking up at his violater he realised it hadn't been a what, but a who that had caused this degrading situation.  
The red headed woman he had seen in the mansion stood before him, an unfamiliarly concerned expression on her face.  
"Are you alright?"  
Oswald glared at the hand the girl offered him and slapped it away, ignoring the crestfallen expression on her face.

"Who the hell are you and why are you following me??"  
She watched him struggle to get up and sighed as she pulled him up despite his violent protests.  
Once Oswald stood upright he pushed her away and glared at her in the most intimidating way he thought possible. The girl raised her hands in mock surrender and supressed a smirk. Oswald seethed with rage.

"I saved your life a while back when you..... when you were shot. I'm Ivy Pepper. We're friends!"  
Oswald snorted and stood as straight as his leg allowed. The top of his head still barely reached her nose. "And why exactly would I be friends with the daughter of the guy that 'shot' the Waynes? Why are you acting like you care anyway??"

For some reason Oswald regretted his words as soon as they left him. The hurt written all over her face hit something deep inside his chest and for reasons he couldn't explain Oswald wished he could pull this strange girl into his arms and apologise.  
He didn't move an inch as he watched her collect herself.

"The point is that you need to come back to the mansion with me. It's not safe for you here, everyone thinks you're dead and if they find out you're not.... I just don't want you to get hurt." Her eyes pleaded with him.  
Oswald couldn't deny it was nice to have someone worrying about him, but he couldn't help to be suspicious either.  
If she had said she was a lackey, okay. Had she said she was an assassin working for him, he might have bought that too. But a friend?  
Oswald had never had a friend, especially not one that would worry about his wellbeing almost like his mother did, and he really didn't think his future self would keep around an oddly adult-looking young girl to be friends with after everything he had just learned from the newspapers.  
Would he really take in random poor orphans after getting rid of Maroni, Fish and Falcone all at once? He hadn't turned into a good samaritan all of a sudden, had he?

No. Of course not. She was lying to hurt him, there was no other explanation.

Oswald smiled his best passive-aggressive smile and stepped close enough to jab her in the chest.  
"I don't know you. We are not friends and I see no reason to change that. I don't care why the hell you think you have any authority over my actions and I don't care about the problems of some little girl that feels like she's better than she actually is. You mean nothing to me. Stop. Following. Me."  
He turned around and re-entered the car, leaving the girl alone in the alley, shoulders slumped and eyes red.

A pang of guilt forced itself inside Oswald's chest and almost made him apologise, but he forced it down and started the car to visit the apartment of the only person in the world who truly cared about him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I never thought writing Ivy could be this much fun  
> She'll probably be around more often now :))))
> 
> Who do you think Oswald will want to see ;)


	3. The Grave

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LIVE for all these comments and kudos thank you so much!!

On the way to his mother's apartment an odd sense of nervosity took over Oswald's body.

He had no doubt his mother would be okay, he would never forgive himself otherwise but... what if she wasn't?  
What if something had happened in the time Oswald couldn't remember?? What if she was.... Oswald violently shook his head. No.  
She was fine. She had to be.  
If Oswald had really managed to become both the King of Gotham _and_ the mayor there was no way he would have let anything happen to her.  
No one would dare to lay their hand on her, not even his enemies.

Oswald forced himself to calm his breathing and softened his grip on the steering wheel.  
Everything would be fine.  
His mother would open her door, hug him and eat dinner with him, just like she had been his whole life.

Oswald smiled at the memory of one of their countless shared dinners.  
He had helped his mother cook Goulash for the first time. She had hummed songs from her childhood. They had spend the evening playing improvised boardgames and though Oswald had suspected his mother to have let him win, it had been wonderful. Afterwards she had brought him to bed and kissed his forehead, telling him she would always love him.  
_My little Kapelput...._  
Oswald smiled.  
His mother just _had to be_ okay.

Less than ten minutes later Oswald stopped the car in front of the building his mother lived in. He cautiously checked if anyone potentially threatening had followed him, but apart from a head of red hair disappearing behind a corner the street was empty.

Oswald took a deep breath to ward off any doubt he still harboured despite himself and entered the building.  
The hallway looked like not a single day had passed between now and his last visit to his mother.  
The light that managed to break through the layers of dust on the windows was sparse at best, coating the room in twilight. The stairs creaked underneath Oswald's feet as he climbed the staircase.

He and his mother had always lived in buildings like this one: old, drafty and cheap. It was all they had been able to afford.  
That had been one of the main reasons Oswald had started working for Fish Mooney. The payment hadn't been particularly generous, but it had been enough.  
Right up until the point it wasn't anymore.  
At some point surviving hadn't been enough for Oswald anymore. He had wanted more.  
His mother had never known of his plan to take over Fish's club and eventually the whole city, but he had no doubt she would have supported him, albeit reluctantly. She had a strong dislike against violence, but her love for her son was stronger than that.

Though he couldn't remember seeing his mother after he had set his plan in motion, he hoped she hadn't worried too much. Part of his plan had been faking his death, after all.

Oswald briefly considered calling out for his mother to cut the time they didn't see each other as short as possible, but decided against.  
If the girl had spoken the truth about everyone believing him to be dead, calling unnecessary attention to himself would only do harm. As much as Oswald doubted her intentions, he begrudgingly had to admit she was right about one thing: He had enemies. In his position that was only natural and while Oswald was thrilled to know he was important enough to have enemies in the first place, he should rather keep himself as hidden as possible for a while.  
Even if the girl had lied to convince him to come with her, it was better not to risk it. Risk came with the business, that much Oswald knew, but this kind of risk was just unnecessary and served no purpose.

Soon enough Oswald stood before the old wooden door he had visited countless times before.  
He raised his hand to knock, but his hand stopped only a few inches short of hitting the dark wood.  
This close to finding out the truth the nervosity from before took over Oswald's body again, but he shook his head again and breathed in deeply.

The sound of his hand knocking on the door seemed louder than Oswald was used to. Almost instantly, he could hear someone moving inside and mentally prepared himself, putting on a half forced happy smile.

Less than a second later Oswald stared into the face of.... his mother's landlord.  
His face fell immediately. He blinked rapidly and opened his mouth to ask where his mother was, but was interrupted by a violent hug.  
Oswald had never been this confused in his life.

Over the shoulder of this woman, Oswald could see directly into his mother's apartment.  
..Or was it?  
Had he knocked on the wrong door? Oswald craned his head to check for the number on the door. No, it definitely had been the right one.  
So why was the apartment so.... wrong??  
Gone were the old fashioned pieces of cloth on every surface of the room, gone was the lamp his mother's parents had brought with them when they had come from europe, gone was even the couch they had sat on and talked countless days and evenings.  
Instead, children's toys were littered all across the floor, an old dog bed was laid out in the corner between the living room and what Oswald knew to be kitchen even from this angle and even the couch was different.

Cold fear washed over Oswald like a giant wave.  
Didn't his mother live here anymore?? Where was she?? How was he supposed to find out?? Was she okay?? Had she been kidnapped??  
In his head Oswald went through countless methodes of torture he had seen and heard Fish exact before but discarded them all. If someone had actually hurt his mother they deserved way worse than a hit with a baseball bat or a few kicks to the stomach.  
He would make sure they would suffer in a way they couldn't even image.

Immersed in his thoughts Oswald hadn't realised the landlord had let go of him and was talking to him. He quickly put on the mask of polite indifference he always used when she insisted to hurl insults and assumptions at him and tried to follow her words.  
"-I know I haven't been the nicest to you and your mother before, but _mayor_... I told my book club all about how we know each other and that after you got rid of the obvious monsters you would get rid of the ones pretending to be productive people, and they were so exited! I think we can put my suspicions against your heritage aside, can't we? We've both made mistakes and I agreed to let the others meet you but then you disappeared and they all talked about me behind their backs, I bet that was that bitch Linda, but now they'll see I wasn't just lying! I can't wait-"

Oswald smiled and let his thoughts trail off. Someone like her wasn't worth listening to. She used to insult him for no other reason than his mother's parents being from europe and now she suddenly wanted his help for something as trivial as her reputation in her book club? Oswald had to use all his willpower not to snort at her idiocy or do something more drastic, like say, cut her throat for all the damage she had done to his confidence when he was younger.

"-when your mother died I thought-"  
Oswald's eyes snapped back into focus. He stared at the woman in front of him with wide eyes, feeling the world around him cracking.  
"What did you just say?"  
She looked at him like he had just grown a second head.  
"I said when your mother died-"

No.  
No no no no.  
She couldn't be dead.  
She couldn't.  
This woman had to be lying.  
There was no way his mother was dead.

Oswald turned on his heel and left without saying another word.  
Inside his head the thoughts ran wild.  
How? When? Why had he let it happen? Who had done it?  
Oswald tried to tell himself it wasn't true, that this woman was lying to hurt him like she had before, that his mother had only moved out, but nothing could stop his world from falling apart.  
He could feel his eyes and lungs burn and numbness take over his body. 

When Oswald could feel his limbs again, he realised he had been driving to the cemetery.  
He stumbled out of the car and made his way through the rows of gravestones adorned by flowers and plants.  
He numbly went through the names in his head.  
Gerald Crane, Anthony Jones, Frank Gordon, Johanna Halloway..

Gertrud Kapelput.

There was no mistaking it was her. People lied, but gravestones couldn't.

Oswald's legs gave out underneath him.  
He fell to his knees, the pain nothing but a dull sensation.  
His vision became clouded as tears began to well in his eyes. He didn't have the strengh to hold them back.  
Violent sobs shook Oswald's body as his whole world came crashing down around him.  
What good was this empire, the thugs and being mayor, when there was no one around worth caring about?  
What good was power if there was no one to share it with?  
Nothing had meaning anymore.

Suddely a deep darkness crashed over Oswald's senses like a wave.  
A deadly silence surrounded him and made all sound and light fall into oblivon, rushing by him too fast to catch up.  
Oswald couldn't breathe, couldn't think, couldn't move.  
He felt like he was falling, drowing, burning alive.

Then the face of his mother broke through the silence.  
"If you lie to me now, you will break my heart."  
Oswald wanted to be pulled into her arms, feel cared for, breathe in the familiar comforting scent only she could provide.  
But she only stared at him expectantly, waiting for the answer she wanted to hear but he couldn't honestly give without lying to her face.

Without meaning to, his mouth opened.  
"I'm a club owner"

Oswald wanted to scream, to tell her the truth, but his body wouldn't listen to his commands.  
His mother's heartbroken and disappointed face vanished in a ray of light, only to form back into a flickering black and white version of her.

"P-please...... Os...Oswald....save me....."  
Oswald could only stare in terror at his shackled mother begging for him to save her.  
He could only stare in terror as footsteps behind him became louder and louder, until they sounded like gunshots and the world fell apart again.

Oswald felt his mother in his arms go limp as he lowered her on the floor.  
He felt his mother's warm blood on his hand as he reached behind her to understand what had happened.  
He felt his feet moving, loud gunshots hitting the wall and the window only inches away from his body.  
He felt shards of glass boring into his hands, his arms, his body.

Finally, the scream building up inside him finally broke loose.  
Before he knew it, Oswald was back at the cemetary, the light grey gravestone only a blurry mass in his tearstained vision.  
The world was tilted to the side and Oswald realised his head now lay on something soft.  
The sobs still shook his body, the pain in his chest, both from the bullet wound and his loss, was unbearable.

He tried to get up, but a soft hand in his hair stopped him.  
"Shhh... let it out."  
Oswald gave in to the soothing whispering and clutched at his chest.

He had lost the only person that had always been there for him. Whenever the other children decided to pick on the weird, tiny kid with the pointy nose his mother had consoled him.  
She had always made sure he never doubted she loved him. Without her, Oswald was sure he would never have gotten to the point he was. He would most likely be dead by now.

When the sobs started to die out and all the tears Oswald's eyes had to offer had been shed, he finally pushed himself up to sit.  
Slightly alarmed, he turned his head to see who had been consoling him until a second ago.  
A hard sigh left him when he recognised the red head from the alley and the mansion.

She smiled at him childishly yet oddly concerned.  
"Better now?"  
Oswald wiped his eyes and cheeks on his sleeve and nodded hesitantly. "Why are you here?" He winced at the rough tone of his voice.  
She rolled her eyes but smiled and leaned back on her arms, unfolding the legs he had unknowingly been resting his head on.  
"I told you, we're friends. I'm not gonna let my only friend leave me just because he doesn't remember me."

Despite himself, a soft smile started to form on Oswald's face. He still was a little suspicious, but it seemed her concern for him was genuine.  
"So what do you propose we do now?"  
An exited and mischievous glint formed in her eyes.  
She started caressing the grass with her fingers and glanced to the side playfully.

"Well.....we live in a mansion so......I gotta hand it to you Pengy, you know how to live."  
Oswald resisted chiding her for the horrible nickname version of the insult Fish's lackeys had thrown at him and smiled.  
"I guess we'll be at the mansion then."

The girl- _Ivy_ , Oswald reminded himself, jumped up with a childish squeal and pulled him to his feet along her.  
As she practically danced towards the car at the street, Oswald stayed at his mother's grave for a second.

He smiled.  
He had lost his mother, the one person he could always count on, but it seemed like he wasn't alone.  
Not anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry :( (but also not *evil laugh*)  
> See you next chapter hopefully ;D


	4. Chairs and Perfume

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome everyone!!! To the longest chapter I have ever written in my life!!!!!  
> This one was so much fun to write I hope you like it too  
> Thank you all so much for the comments and kudos they mean so much to me <3

The drive back to the mansion felt way longer than the one to the city had felt.  
Oswald and Ivy had barely left the immediate surroundings of the cemetery when Oswald had demanded he be the one to drive. The car rocking back and forth every time Ivy decided to slam the brakes at the smallest hint of another car both infuriated him and hurt his wound.  
Ivy had rolled her eyes mumbled something about him being a "buzzkill" but stopped the car and let him trade places with her.  
Oswald made a mental note to never let a 14 year old drive again.

Soon enough Ivy was happily babbling to Oswald about all the things they could to together.  
"I _have_ to show you the new version of my perfume, it works even better than the last one! OH, and we need to catch up on everything you missed, I can try to help you get your memories back! Nygma can too, he thinks he knows you better than anyone else does but I wouldn't-"  
Oswald stopped her with a gesture of his hand and took the next turn.

"Who?"  
He could only see her face out of the corner of his eye, but he was pretty sure she pulled a face.  
"He's the guy that brought you to me when you got shot. I wouldn't trust him if I were you, you two had a major argument before we met." Now she definitely pulled a face.  
"He keeps insulting my plants."

Oswald sighed. If he had learned anything about his new friend in the hour they had been driving, it was that you should _never_ insult Ivy's plants.

"I do think he might be able to help you with your memory though. You were.... pretty close a while back. He's a total dork anyway. He's _super_ convinced he's the most badass guy on the plant but I'm pretty sure he doesn't even know how to aim a gun."  
Oswald hummed, deep in thought.  
The name rang a bell, but nothing specific came up. He was probably the guy that had burst into the room and hugged him before Oswald had ran off to the city.

He stopped the car directly in front of the frankly quite impressive mansion. Now that he wasn't running from it, Oswald felt almost at home looking at the huge building with the wild plants growing all over the stone walls.

Ivy held him back before he could touch the doorknob and put a finger on her lips, gesturing towards the cars parked all across the lawn.  
The two exchanged glances. Ivy pulled a gun from her jacket and gave it to Oswald.  
"Keep it!", Oswald hissed, but Ivy shook her head.  
"Remember the perfume I told you about? I guess you'll get to see it in action sooner than I thought."

Oswald hesitantly took the gun, still hesitant to let a child, albeit in an adult's body, enter a most definitely dangerous building without any protection worth mentioning.  
Then again, he _was_ pretty curious what that mysterious perfume of hers could do.

Oswald snuck up to the window and risked a look inside.  
Three armed thugs were scattered across the room, one of them aiming his gun at something.  
  
Oswald craned his neck to see who they were threatening.  
At the side of the room, tied to a chair and visibly struggling against the ropes, sat the guy Oswald remembered bursting into his room, a pained and annoyed expression on his face and that ridiculous hat still on his head.  
_He must be that Nygma guy then._  
Oswald had to agree with Ivy on what she had said in the car.  
He _was_ a total dork. Who else would let himself be captured that easily?  
Oswald would never allow that, of course. His unpleasant travel in the trunk of Fish's pet cop's car had gone exactly as he had planned.  
Well, he hadn't wanted it to be quite that painful, but he had worked with what he had and according to the newspapers it had all played out exactly as he wanted, with him coming out on top.

This guy however....  
He looked so lost between all these gorillas. Now Oswald noticed the crease between his eyebrows indicating his barely disguised fear.  
The sudden rush of both concern, rage and satisfaction surprised and confused Oswald. For reason he didn't know, he wanted to both protect him from danger and make fun of him for getting into it in the first place. Another, tinier part of him wanted to turn away and let the thugs do whatever they came here to do. Thankfully, the two bigger parts won. 

Oswald did his best to shake those thoughts from his head and turned around to tell Ivy what he had seen.  
Instead, he was greeted with the barrel of a gun violently being pushed against his forehead, rendering him unconscious.

-

The first thing Oswald heard was a groan coming from his own throat.  
He tried to raise his hand to his head to ease the constant throbbing at his forehead but he could barely move them for more than an inch.  
Oswald forced his eyes open and groaned again against the harsh light flooding his senses. He blinked rapidly to clear his vision and took in the situation as much as he could.

He was definitely tied to a chair. That much had been clear as soon as he realised he couldn't move his hands.  
He turned his head as far as his position allowd and took in his surroundings.

The room was old fashioned and struck Oswald as one he should remember but didn't. The fireplace was cold and empty and Oswald could barely make out a painting of a man he didn't recognise behind a corner across the room.  
A quick look to his side to Nygma, who was staring at him with a burning intensity confirmed his first suspicions: he was still at the mansion.

But where was Ivy? Oswald couldn't see any other people tied to chairs anywhere in the room and he was pretty sure these thugs wouldn't let one of their hostages stay in a room all by herself.  
A thought struck his still slightly fuzzy mind.  
What if she was with these thugs? Oswald had no way of knowing their friendship was real, she might have been after him all this time...

Oswald almost laughed at that thought. During the car ride he had found out she was perfectly capable of manipulation, but he was certain her concern hadn't been an act. Her devastation in the alley couldn't have been an act.  
She must have escaped. There was no actual other alternative.

A fourth thug was now pacing around the room, his gun uselessly placed in its' holster.  
As soon as he noticed Oswald had woken up, he turned to him and smiled grimly.  
Oswald recognised him at the one he had met in the alley, the one that had seemingly executed his command. He scowled. So much for loyalty.

"Why hello there Mister Mayor. Had a good sleep?"  
Oswald scoffed and tried not to let him see his fear. He was sure his older self had had way more guns pointed at him than the one Jim Gordon had fired next to his ear seconds before the hole in his memory started. These imbeciles couldn't know how scared he actually was.

"I should have known loyalty means nothing anymore in this city. You work for me, remember?"  
Oswald was bluffing, and he was bluffing _hard_. He hoped with all he had that he was right and that they had actually just been planning to betray him since a few weeks ago.

The thug snorted and shook his head.  
"Loyalty?? That's rich, coming from you. We've been working for you since Mooney murdered our boss in cold blood- " Oswald had to do everything in his might to keep his expression as neutral and impassively angry as possible at that "-and then you start murdering our men out of the blue because your little fucktoy here finally ran away??" He gestured towards Nygma and scoffed.

Oswald kept his eyes on the thug's face and tried not to let his eyes wander towards Nygma. Out of the corner of his eye he could barely see his bright red face. It gave a nice contrast to his christmas-tree-like-suit.

"I hardly think there was no reason for that." Oswald winced the exact second he had uttered the words.  
The thug bent down to stare at him from a better angle.  
"You _think_??" He turned to his friends and laughed in disbelief. "I think our dear little mayor actually managed to forget it." He hit Oswald in the face, making him supress a wince and a cry of pain.  
"You _murdered_ your own men! For no reason other than this stringbean leaving you! You killed our friends!" He hit Oswald again.

Just as he raised his fist once again Oswald managed to sneak a look above his shoulder and almost cried in relief.  
Ivy was hiding behind the doorway, a distressed expression on her face.  
She tapped her wrist and hastily left Oswald's direct line of vision.

He grinned up at the man before him, blood running out of his nose. "It's true. I killed them. And you know what?"  
The thug only grinned back at him. "Pray tell, what is it?" Satisfied at the nervous undertone in the man's voice, Oswald continued with the most impassive and dismissive voice he was able to create in his fear.  
"They begged me to stop. They were terrified, trying to make me accept some stupid deal I can't even remember anymore. It probably wasn't even important." 

The intensity of Nygma's stare at his face only increased with every single word that left Oswald's mouth. Even through his own taunts and the thugs' almost audibly angry growling, he could hear his heavy breathing.  
It was distracting in more than one way.

"And then I killed them. Simple shot to the brain, nothing special. They didn't _deserve_ a special death."  
All four of the thugs now glared at him, their eyes practically screaming out their rage.  
Oswald grinned even wider.  
"I don't even remember what I did to their corpses. Maybe I just left them there to rot. Right there, where I killed them."

\------

Ivy took a deep breath and tried to concentrate on the task at hand.  
Pengy and Nygma were both tied to a chair and unable to escape.

A part of her suspected Nygma of being behind this, but one look at his clearly terrified face convinced her otherwise. He was a total dick and she would never leave him alone in a room with Oswald or truly trust a word he said, but he wasn't a particularly good liar.  
That much she had learned from living in the same house as him for the time Oswald had been asleep.

Ivy took as tiny and quiet as possible, doing her best to impersonate Selina's silent walk. She wasn't as good as her by far and she probably never would be, but she prided herself in being able to learn quite fast.

The way to the kitchen and, in addition, the telephone wasn't exactly long but to Ivy it felt like a mile long.  
She could hear at least two more thugs roaming around the house, one of them in the kitchen she was currently trying to reach.

She snuck right up to the wide open door and peaked inside at the single guard rummaging around the drawers, probably in search of money or anything else valuable.

Suddenly two arms gripped her from behind.  
She almost screamed and started struggling, but it was no use.

The huge man chuckled against her ear and she twisted her face in disgust.  
"What is a girl like you doing here?"  
Ivy barely kept herself from responding anything rude and tilted her neck to the side, making him bury his nose in her hair.

"Oh, I'm just browsing." She grinned as he went limp and let his arms fall to his sides.  
Ivy turned around and smiled sweetly.  
"Pull out your gun."  
He listened to her commands better than a trained dog. His brain wasn't exactly bigger than one, too.

Her next commands were executed just as well and only seconds later she stood above two dead thugs, one with his head cracked with the hilt of a gun, the other with a knife in his neck. His hand was still holding on to the hilt.

Ivy wasted no more time and hurried towards the telephone, hastily typing in the number she had been told to memorise in case of an emergency.

\------

The Riddler could only stare as Oswald received his third punch and grinned into the attacker's face. He just kept talking and talking, practically begging these imbeciles to hit him.

But why? Why would he-  
Oh.

His eyes caught sight of a bush of red hair just as is disappeared behind the corner leading to the staircase again.  
Oswald was stalling.

The Riddler had to command all his willpower to keep himself from laughing.  
Of course Oswald had a plan to get out of their situation. He had always been incredibly flexible, always able to adapt his plan and words to new circumstances.  
That was one of the biggest differences between them.

The Riddler couldn't keep his eyes off Oswald. Blood was streaming from his nose and his cheek was starting to bruise, but he kept on grinning, never stopping his aggravating talk.  
It was magnifying.

Suddenly the door burst open and two unfamiliar shapes entered.  
The thugs barely had time to react before the strangers opened fire.  
Quite literally at that.

The Riddler stared breathlessly at the rays of fire and ice hitting the thugs, one of them burning alive while the other froze, still in the motion of aiming his gun.  
Oswald seemed to be just as starstruck as he was.

One of the strangers pulled off his red goggles and lowered his gun carefully, while the other was freeing them both from the chairs.  
"You okay boss?" Oswald was still gaping, unable to form a single sentence.  
The man who had spoken turned towards the Riddler and glared. He recognised him as Victor Fries, the guy who had frozen and killed a dozen random people before killing first his wife and then himself with his own invention.

Why was he here??  
Of course there was the obvious issue of his supposed death apparently not having taken place, but he didn't focus on that for long. Since the Indian Hill incident, Jerome's revival and Fish Mooney's return, not to mention Oswald's, the rules of life and death weren't as clear cut as before anymore.  
But then.. why was he working for Oswald? Especially since he had made the citizens drive all Indian Hill escapees out of town? It was obvious Fries, maybe the strange girl too, was one of them.  
Fries had no reason to want to work for Oswald and neither had Oswald for wanting him to work for him. Except his ice gun of course, but there was no reason Oswald couldn't just have given that to one of his loyal thugs.

 _Well, loyal doesn't exactly fit anymore, does it?_ , his mind suddenly interjected.  
The Riddler closed his eyes and frowned. He hadn't heard that voice since the incident with the pills.  
_They all betrayed him. Look at them. They swore to be on his side and then betrayed him._  
The Riddler swallowed and tried to not let that voice get to him and to not look at the dead thugs. It was no use.  
_Just like you did._

Thankfully the Riddler was pulled out of his thoughts by another, considerably younger thug entering the room.  
The man immediately stopped moving at the sight of his dead friends, their murderers still standing above them, just as frozen as he was. No pun intended.

To everyone's surprise, the stranger pulled out his weapon first and raised it to Oswald's head, hiding behind his intended victim to defend himself from both the weapons Fries and the girl had brought with them.  
"Don't move! Or I'll... I'll...."  
The Riddler grinned. The man was clearly struggling for words and most likely also unable to form a coherent thought.

"You'll what? You'll shoot him?"  
The thug hesitated for a second and then nodded rapidly.  
"Yes! That!"  
The Riddler just grinned wider and shook his head mockingly. He was hyperaware of Oswald's eyes on him, burning through his armor of a suit and tearing him apart from the inside. And all that without even glaring.

"Well? Go on."  
The others glared and the girl raised her flamethrower at his chest. The Riddler continued.  
He shrugged. "I'm waiting."  
The thug hesitated and released the gun's safety catch. Fries was shouting something, but the Riddler didn't pay any attention to him. He was too focused on the two men in front of him; one of them obviously trying to hide his terror behind anger, the other shaking with fear.  
"Go on. Shoot him. You may lose the only reason you're not dead already, but hey! At least the guy that had literally nothing to do with _this_ -" he gestured towards the bodys of the man's friends "-is dead. Well done."  
The Riddler clapped twice and revelled in the hopeless look on the thug's face and the fire in Oswald's.

The thug slowly lowered his hand and let go of Oswald.  
Before anyone else in the room could say or do anything, the Riddler crossed the room in little more than two steps and stabbed his tie pin into the man's left eye.  
He howled and tried to shove the green clad man off him, but it was no use.

The Riddler laughed as he kept stabbing the man over and over again, first his eye, then his throat, each stab deeper and more forceful than the last. The Riddler may not have any kind of combat skill or outstanding body strength, but he _did_ have a quite extensive knowledge of human anatomy and that was all he needed to find the most painful and deadly places to stab someone.

He couldn't stop giggling breathlessly as he felt the man become limp under his hand.  
_No one is allowed to kill him_ his other self whispered in his ear as his victim collapsed to the ground.  
_No one but me_ the Riddler reminded him, breathing heavily. His other self finally left, but not without an exasperated sigh.  
_Keep telling yourself that, Edward._

\------

Oswald could do nothing but stare mesmerised at the green-clad man in front of him. His breathy laughter filled his ears and an almost familiar warmth started spreading in his chest.

Oswald didn't like to admit he had been wrong, but now he knew he had clearly underestimated Nygma's abilities.  
He wasn't just some dork that lets himself be captured because he doesn't have any noticeable skills.  
He was dangerous and had a talent for manipulation that rivaled Oswald's own.  
It was electrifying.

Nygma turned around. His hands were stained with tiny droplets of his victim's blood and if Oswald squinted he could make out one drip just below his lower lip. Nygma's breath came out in heavy huffs, his chest heaving with every breath he took.

And then his eyes met Oswald's and the world seemed to stop.  
Every one of his senses zeroed in on Nygma and his exited and electrifying stare. An oddly familiar laugh filled Oswald's ears as he fell into the darkness in Nygma's eyes. All he could see and hear was Nygma, the only constant in an ocean full of darkness and uncertainty that threatened to swallow Oswald whole.  
"He's a gift for you."  
Nygma was grinning at him almost manically in his exitement, eyes seeming almost luminescent in the otherwise relatively dark room, which instantly fell apart again and formed anew. Nygma was sitting at a piano, his moving fingers the only indicator he was playing it as well. All sound was drowned out by the blood pumping in Oswald's ears. No, it was the blood pumping out of the man's chest onto the knife he and Nygma were both holding, the smell almost overpowering the strong smell of asian take-out.  
Oswald could feel the other man's body heat seeping into his own and-

And just like that it was over.  
A soft touch on his shoulder pulled Oswald back out of his memories.  
He shook his head and blinked rapidly. Ivy was staring at him in a concerned way, the two strangers still having their guns raised at Nygma.  
He was standing in the corner, arms crossed and the same glint in his eyes as before.

"Are you alright Pengy?"  
Oswald nodded absentmindedly and stopped her with a wave of his hand, his eyes still fixed on Nygma.  
Ivy turned to the tall man and glared at him while pushing a bag of frozen green beans at Oswald's face so he could cool the swellings on his face.  
Nygma raised his hands in mock surrender. "I didn't do anything." Oswald couldn't see Ivy's face properly, but he was pretty sure one of her eyebrows were raised. Nygma rolled his eyes and left the room before Oswald could say or do anything.

As soon as he was gone, Ivy exitedly turned towards Oswald again, who was adjusting the beans to properly cool down the developing swelling on his face, and pulled him towards the other two.  
"Meet Victor Fries and Bridgit Pike, our family of freaks!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooh boi it took me way too long to write. next chapter should be up a little sooner though   
> see you hopefully <3


	5. Splinters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for your comments and kudos <3  
> I'm not 100% happy with how this chapter turned out but I've rewritten it too often to do it again  
> Tell me if you liked it please so I can stop worrying

For a long moment no one said anything. Ivy looked at all three of them with a childish kind of glee in her eyes and clasped her hands exitedly.   
Oswald stared first at the two strangers and then at her. Was he supposed to know these people? Ivy had called them their 'family of freaks' but that didn't make any sense.

There was something weird about the two, something dangerous. Normally, Oswald would have been thrilled to have people like them on his side, people with extraordinary skills, but...   
The girl, she couldn't be older than about 19 years old, had burned two people alive without even blinking. Her blue-skinned friend had frozen another two to death in a single heartbeat without hesitating even once.   
Oswald's eyes flickered towards his right and instantly darted back towards the blue guy. The frozen thug was still standing there, hand on his gun, still in the motion of raising it.

Oswald had of course killed before, not very often but he had if it was necessary. His whole, now redundant plan had revolved around killing Fish and getting Maroni and Falcone to kill each other. He had watched Nygma murder a young man with rapt attention and delight just a few minutes ago and apparently that hadn't even been the first time.

And yet, the prospect of having _these_ people on his team, murdering for him and apparently making up his so-called "family" was downright terrifying.

Oswald opened his mouth to say something, but no sound came out. He tried again but the effect was the same.  
Ivy took pity on him and softly laid her hand on the arsonist's hand. The girl relucantly lowered her gun, which for some reason was still aimed at the door Nygma had left through as if she expected him to burst in with an army of heavily armed thugs any minute.   
"How about we all sit down first? We could talk about how we all met, rekindle some old memories?"  
The blue man, Victor, if Oswald remembered correctly, stared at her, a tiny crease on his forehead the only indicator he had heard her. The rest of his face stayed in place, almost as if he was just as frozen as the man he had killed.

"What is going on? Why is Penguin staring at us like that?"  
It was the girl, Bridgit, who had spoken. Her way too yellow eyes hardened defensively. "You promised we would be a family again if I came back."  
Ivy nodded hastily and opened her mouth to speak, but the man was faster. "He has turned against us after all, hasn't he."   
The girl hissed aggressively and moved to raise her gun, but Ivy gripped her arm tightly to stop her. She was about to do the same to Victor, but her hand retracted only inches away from its' destination at a harsh look from him. 

"Pengy has had a... rough time. Amnesia and all. Got captured by those weird owl people Nygma was taken by, escaped with him if Nygma is telling the truth and then he got shot in the chest. Which is kinda ironic if you think about it", she trailed off, frowning as if she was trying to find a solution to a very difficult problem.

Oswald could only stare and gape at her and the other two, one after another.   
He knew something had to have happened to induce his amnesia and he knew Nygma probably had to have something to do with it since he was with them despite the venomous looks Ivy kept shooting him, but he hadn't thought he would find out what exactly had happened through an offhand explanation Ivy offered two apparently superpowered psychopaths.

The other two didn't seem that amused by Ivy's concept of irony either. The crease in Victor's forehead deepened and Bridgit now openly snarled at her.   
"Okay okay! Calm down!" Ivy was clearly a bit overwhelmed by the situation. "I'm sure he'll understand why we're a family once you reminded him of who you are! Maybe he'll even remember! Who knows!"   
Both of them were staring at her coldly, no pun intended, but soon enough they let themselves be lead to the couch and warily sat down. Oswald was still standing in the middle of the room, trying to process the situation. Only after an urgent wave from Ivy he managed to get his legs to move towards the couch as well.

"Okay, so this is my friend Bridgit." The girl still had that defensive look in her eyes, but she managed a tense little nod before Ivy continued.   
"Her brother's were real dickheads. Tied her up all the time, made her set buildings on fire without even giving her fireproof clothes! Can you believe that!" Ivy noticed the angry look in her friend's eyes and quickly continued before those memories could catch up with her. "We still don't know who asked them to burn down those buildings, but that doesn't matter anymore."   
Something at the back of Oswald's mind started ringing. He pushed it aside without paying it any mind.   
"So long story short, she got burned, went to Indian Hill, that was some kind of torture lab for freaks, and then she escaped with some other people from there. They tortured her for almost a year before that. Messed her up real bad. We found her at a factory at the outskirts of Gotham a few weeks ago and since then she's been with us."

Ivy reassuringly laid a hand on Bridgit's arm and smiled softly at her. Her friend's eyes snapped towards her hand and an uneasy smile took hold of her.   
Despite Oswald's natural uncaring for people that he didn't have a personal connection to or considered his ally, something about her story struck something in him.   
Family was the one thing that was meant to be sacred, safe from the darkness that destroyed Gotham from the inside out, that Oswald himself was part of. Family had been the one thing he could always count on, no matter how bad it got.  
He would never admit it outloud, but he felt bad for her.

As soon as Ivy was sure Bridgit was okay, she turned her attention towards Victor. Oswald wasn't even sure he was actually wearing a suit and wasn't partially made of metal.

"Victor's story is a little more fuzzy, to be honest." She looked uncertain for a moment, but quickly collected herself.   
"I think he was trying to find a cure for a disease by freezing people? The newspapers didn't really say anything about how he ended up in Indian Hill, as far as they're concerned he's officially dead. He doesn't talk about it either, but for some reason he needs super cold temperatures to survive so he wears this suit all the time to be able to move around. There was also something about a wife but since he won't tell me-" a sharp look at the indifferent expression in Victor's face "-I have no idea what she has to do with any of this."  
It didn't really seem like he would change that any time soon.

Ivy sighed and turned towards Bridgit, her hand still on her arm. "Do you have any idea who these people were? The thugs, I mean. I think the guy that hit Pengy said something about him killing his friends, but that could apply to anyone really." "They used to work for Maroni."

The three others all stared at Oswald now, each of them displaying a different state of confusion.   
Oswald nervously readjusted the frozen beans on his face and hesitantly continued. "I remember the leader accompanying Maroni when he used to visit Fish. He was just a guard but I guess he worked for me until a while ago."  
Ivy blinked like she was processing his words but before she could say anything, Bridgit interrupted her.

"Did he tell  _you_ he knows Fish??" Ivy opened her mouth to answer, but Bridgit continued before she could say anything "Did none of you think that might have been nice to know for us??"   
Now it was Oswald's turn to blink in confusion. "Wait.. _you_ know Fish?" Surprisingly, it was Victor who answered this time. Even more surprising was the way he almost laughed before answering.   
"Of _course_ we know Fish. She broke a bunch of Freaks out of Arkham a few months ago. If she hadn't distracted the GCPD they would have arrested us and eventually Sparky and I would have been murdered by _your lynch mob_!!"  
Even Bridgit seemed surprised at Victor's outburst, not even reacting to the insulting nickname.

"Ookay, how about we all calm down now? Wait- Ozzie, where are you going?"  
Ivy tried to hold Oswald back, but Bridgit stopped her. "Let him go. I know how it feels."

-

Oswald's mind was racing. Any time he thought he had found a concrete point to hold on to it was rippped away, crumbling to dust in his hands.   
Until now, he had held on to what he had been so sure was true; the assumption that Fish was dead had eased his mind, however foolish it might have been.   
Oswald had believed himself to be on top all this time, he had thought his plan had worked, but now it turned out Fish was alive, loyalty was a thing of myth, the old gangs held less worth than they ever did before, some kind of "owl people" were kidnapping people and super powered freaks with glowing eyes apparently roamed the streets.   
Everything Oswald had believed in once now felt like a lie, and there was nothing he could do to change that.

"Uhm.. Oswald..?"   
Oswald's eyes snapped back into focus, once again making contact with Nygma's.   
He frowned and looked around. He was standing at the door of an unfamiliar room, not unlike the one he had woken up in. The main difference was the lack of plants. And the presence of Nygma of course, who was sitting at the desk across the room, a bunch of papers laid out before him. His suit jacket was lying on the bed carefully folded, next to his hideous hat. His hair was slightly disshelved, as if he had been running his hands through it.   
Apparently Oswald had accidentally found his room while he had mindlessly wandered around the mansion.

"I...I.." Oswald found himself at a loss for words. Just half an hour ago he had stalled for time using nothing but his words and bluffing. He had made Gordon spare his life by appealing to his humanity. He had outsmarted everyone from his old life to the point where he controlled all of Gotham's underground and official business. And yet, when faced with the reality of his whole life turning upside down without him even remembering it, to the point where he started sleepwalking while awake, he had no idea what to say.

For the third time that day, his legs gave out underneath him and he collapsed to the floor.   
Nygma was by his side in mere seconds. His hands steadied Oswald's body and despite the danger he could still feel radiating from the taller man's body he felt grateful. Safe, even. Even though he obviously shouldn't.

"What is going on Oswald?"  
He couldn't answer, couldn't even breathe. Everything was just... _too much_.   
"Slow down Oswald. Breathe in deeply through your nose and slowly exhale through your mouth. Thaaat's it." Nygma rubbed Oswald's back in slow and soothing circles until his breathing slowed down to a normal pace.   
"Better?" Oswald answered Nygma's soft smile with his own and nodded. "Thank you."

Nygma's reaction was a surprise. He apruptly retracted his hand and coughed lightly, moving to sit beside Oswald on the floor.   
He the wrinkles in his suit and looked at Oswald half hesitantly, half expectantly.  
"Do you.. want to talk about it or..." Oswald shrugged. If he was honest, he did miss being able to get everything off his chest like he could with his mother..   
Oswald swallowed hard to get his mind off her. Despite his wish to share he had doubts. He was neither sure Nygma wanted to hear it, nor if he wanted Nygma to know. He _was_ still a stranger to him afterall, a dangerous one no less.   
But before he could stop himself, the words were already spilling out of him.

"Everything is so.... different. The last thing I remember is being thrown off the docks by Jim Gordon. I don't remember being anything more than a simple umbrella boy, I just wanted a little more respect and power. And all of a sudden I wake up and I'm the head of the Gotham underworld _and_ the mayor. The last time I checked my mother was still alive and..."   
Oswald took a deep breath to steady himself and focussed on Nygma, who was listening with rapt attention and an odd mix of concern and something Oswald didn't know how to name on his face. Nygma hesitantly and awkwardly took Oswald's hand in his own in an obvious effort to be reassuring and supportive. Oswald squeezed it, grateful for the gesture despite its' awkward nature.   
"And now she's dead, I've been betrayed countless times, everyone that slightly mattered to me is dead or gone to god knows where." He laughed humorlessly. "Even the dead seem to come back somehow."  
Nygma snorted and shook his head in disbelief. Oswald paid it no mind and continued.

"I have no idea why I forget the last three years of my life or why I ended up being kidnapped by some kind of _owl people_ of all things-" "Wait, what?"   
That seemed to catch Nygma's attention.  
"You.... you remember?" He seemed outright distressed now.

\------

The calmness and warmth that had spread through Ed's body at the touch of Oswald's hand that he, even though he would never admit it outloud to any living person, had missed so dearly, was ripped away. Like a punch in the gut, his doppelganger's laughter filled his ears.   
"What... what else do you remember?"

Oswald seemed so far away suddenly. His voice seemed to seep through a curtain of cotton, the words unrecognisable to Ed.

_You know what this means, right?_  
He tried to ignore his own voice and to let Oswald's words reach him, but it was no use.  
His doppelganger appeared right next to his ear and whispered _We agreed to kill him once he remembers._

Ed- No, the Riddler was reeling inside his own mind. _He only remembers us escaping from the court, he doesn't remember his betrayal._  
The Other snorted and laughed hysterically in that sickenly sweet tone of his. _Oh please. You're going to keep pretending_ that's _the issue here? We both know you only tell yourself that so you can spend some more time with your flightless little lovebird._  
The Riddler tried to shake his head to get rid of that nagging voice, but his head wouldn't move and the voice it kept on talking, relentless in its' insistence.  
 _Just admit you were lost without him. That you still are. You already did it once, why not a second time? This time to an actual person, maybe._

No. Nonono. He couldn't. He just couldn't. Oswald _had_ to pay. What he had done was terrible and he couldn't just get away with it. But still, Ed couldn't deny the prospect of actually doing it, of raising the gun to shoot him _again_ was nothing less than terrifying.  
These past weeks, the Riddler had managed to push aside the memory of the time after what he had believed to be Oswald's death, but now it all came crashing down around him.   
He had told himself he had had no choice, that taking one life for another was right. But the fallout he had experienced afterwards and the way he felt now suggested otherwise.

Did he have to do it a second time? His own hallucinated self seemed to think he didn't. But what did that mean?   
The last time he had listened to his other self it had enabled him to become the person he had needed to be at the time. It had helped him rip off the shackles laid on him by the endless mocking he had to endure through his collegues.   
So... why would it be different now?

Suddenly he remembered the way the woman Oswald had taken from him had smiled before she had been murdered. And more importantly, the way Oswald had lied to him for weeks after her death, reassuring him of his support with sincere seeming lies and false care.   
No.   
He had to pay.   
A life for a life. That was the deal. Oswald had to pay for his betrayal.

"-gma? Are you.. alright?"   
The Riddler broke out of his trance and almost violently shook his head.   
Oswald was staring at him warily, clearly noticing the way his eyes had become vacant over time.   
The Riddler nodded and smiled uneasily.

"Yes... I'm alright. What did you just say?"  
Oswald sighed and rolled his eyes, but the Riddler relievedly noted that there was no real anger behind it. Just the friendly exasperation he remembered from their time as mayor and chief of staff. Something in his chest hurt suddenly. The Riddler slipped a hand in his pocket to the concealed knife he now carried with him everywhere, holding on to it to ground himself in what he had to do.

"I _said_ , I don't remember anything. Not really, anyway. I remember Jim Gordon, I remember working for Fish Mooney, and since today I also remember my mother dying and..."  
The Riddler steeled himself for what was to come. He readied the knife, gripping it tight to be able to lead it to its' ultimate destination without hesitation.

"..and I remember you."  
Ed blinked. That was not what he had expected.   
"..What exactly do you mean?"

Oswald smiled shakily, clearly feeling insecure. Ed had to fight against the urge to take his hand again, to feel its' warmth and to assure him of his unwavering support. He wished it wouldn't have to be a lie. He really did. But he wouldn't be the one to lie. That was Oswald's job, not his.

"Just tiny bits. It's all a little fuzzy. We were in a dark room... And there was a piano in the corner.. and then you had a knife.. No wait, we did. We both held it. And there was a guy, I don't remember his name, maybe I never knew it in the first place. And I remember there was a lot of blood everywhere."  
Ed smiled at the memory. He would always treasure his time as the Penguin's roommate, even after everything that had happened between them.

"Yeah you... you lived in my apartment for a while. You were injured and I stitched you up in exchange for..." He laughed nervously. Saying it outloud after all this time it almost felt childish. "In exchange for you being my mentor."   
Oswald raised his eyebrow, but he didn't say anything.

So killing him wasn't necessary afterall.   
_Yet_ , the Riddler had to remind himself. 

"So... since you're the only person I remember that isn't dead or thinks I am.. can you tell me what happened before I woke up here?"  
The Riddler hesitated. If he told Oswald, his memory might be triggered and he might remember everything. He didn't want that yet.

Wait... wasn't that exactly what he should want? He had literally _just_ decided to kill Oswald once he remembered, he had suffered through a conversation with his splintering self just to get to that conclusion. The fact that he was splintering in the first place should be proof enough he should want Oswald to remember and to die as soon as possible.   
Killing Oswald had enabled him to destroy the part of him that felt emotion, that cared. The weak part.  
And here he was, Oswald alive for no longer than about two weeks at most, conscious for less than a whole day, and yet the Riddler's personality was already falling apart again. Parts of his old self were showing through the cracks, hindering him in being who he was meant to be. Ed Nygma, who he had thought he had destroyed by killing Oswald, kept interrupting the Riddler's thoughts and tried to ruin his plans.   
And all that simply because Oswald was still alive.

And yet, when faced with the opportunity to actually _do it_ , he found himself hesitating. Was it so wrong that he wanted to spend some more time with his best and only friend? He knew what he would have to do sooner or later, both for revenge and simply for the fear of losing his stronger, better self again.

The Riddler smiled softly and shakily started talking.   
"Well... a while back we were.... pretty close friends." Oswald nodded. The Riddler wondered if Ivy had already told him that or if he was just nodding along to the story.   
"Like I said, I stitched you up, you got me out of Arkham and then we sort of.. started living together."  
"Arkham is open again?" The Riddler blinked in confusion. "Yes..? There was a whole bunch of drama around how Maroni and Falcone both wanted to own Arkham and in the end both of them got parts of it. After that it was reopened." The small, almost proud smile on Oswald's face surprised the Riddler.

"Well, anyway, we had a... I guess we had an argument and... I wouldn't say it got out of hand, but.." For some reason he couldn't say the logically following words.   
"In the end, we ended up being kidnapped by a secret organisation called the Court of Owls and we escaped together. You were shot in the chest and I brought you back to the mansion once the guy that did it was dead. Thankfully Ivy was there too and she nursed you back to health."

Oswald frowned. "What the hell is a Court of Owls?" The Riddler dismissed the question with a simple wave of his hand. "They don't matter. What matters is that you have to get your memory back soon so we can.. settle our differences."   
"So I take it we're not on good terms right now, Nygma?" Oswald's whole body was tense. Even from just sitting beside him, the Riddler could easily tell that much.   
He hesitated again, unsure of what to say. He wanted to say the truth, partially so his accusations of betrayal and lying couldn't be reflected on him, but what even _was_ the truth?

"I'd say we... we have a truce. For however long it will take for you to recover your memories."  
Oswald smiled uneasily and the Riddler could tell he was still a little tense, but his body seemed to relax a little. He took it as a good sign.   
"And please call me th-.. Ed. You can call me Ed."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ed you stubborn little shit  
> Can you tell I spend way too much time in Ed's mind  
> This was basically a meta  
> Well, I hope you enjoyed it anyway   
> See you next chapter <3


	6. A Reminder of happier times

The next two weeks went by in a bit of a blur.  
Oswald mostly spent them either lecturing Ivy or being lectured by her. When Ivy was busy or when Oswald wasn't in the mood for her sometimes very childish nature, he searched the mansion for Ed, who was mostly hiding away in his room. They would do nothing else but sit and eat together, talking about things Oswald remembered and didn't, but never left the safe parts three years ago. Ed seemed very interested in his life before apparently becoming a mob boss.  
Neither of them had brought up the subject of whatever happened that had set them apart. Oswald hadn't forgotten Ed's remark about them 'settling their differences' once Oswald remembered, and even though he would never admit it outloud, the five of them living together was oddly pleasant and a part of Oswald was simply afraid to lose it again.  
He had even built up a shaky companionship with Bridgit and Victor. Quite early into their friendship he had soon learned that there was more to them than their admittedly intimidating exterior. 

The first day after Oswald had decided to stay at the mansion, he woke up with a terrible headache.  
Ed had helped him find his room again and had awkwardly wished him goodnight. Even while Oswald's head was sending waves of pain throughout his entire body, a pleasant warmth started spreading through him at the memory. He smiled and immediately hissed and pressed both his hands against his forehead.

Cursing with words that would have made Fish proud and his mother clutch her chest in shock, Oswald tried to find the kitchen without opening his eyes too far. The bright sunlight hurt and only worsened the pain in his head.

Suddenly something bumped into him, making him let lose another string of curses. As soon as he managed to raise his head again he came face to face with Bridgit, who was staring at him with a clenched jaw and a raised eyebrow. Even this early in the morning she was already wearing most of her armour. Only the part covering her head was missing, exposing the black stubble of hair regrowing on her otherwise bald head.  
"What are you doing at my door Penguin?" Oswald grit his teeth and pressed his hands to his forehead as hard as he could to get  _some_ semblance of pain relief while he tried to bring himself to answer her.

Bridgit grabbed his arm, pulling him down the corridor he had come from.  
"Where are we going?"  
Oswald barely managed to force the words out through his grit teeth before they already arrived in the kitchen.

"Do you like tea?" She sat him down at the table and started rummaging through the shelves and drawers.  
As the pot started boiling on the stove, Bridgit leaned against it, seemingly not bothered by the heat. She crossed her arms and waited until Oswald was ready to talk.

"Why are you helping me?"  
Bridgit sighed. "Let me guess. Your head feels like it's about to explode and that feeling is traveling through your body. You have no idea why it hurts so much and you can barely speak without crying."  
Oswald could only stare at her. At least until another wave of pain distracted him.  
"How did you know that?"  
He could swear he saw one corner of her mouth turn upwards for a milisecond before it moved back into her signature scowl.

"Remember what Ivy told you about me? What they did to me at Indian Hill?"  
Oswald couldn't nod, but she seemed to take his fast blinking as a yes. "They erased all my memory. Not just three years, all of it. I woke up one day and a guy in a fancy suit told me I was the goddess of fire."  
She grinned sarcastically. "He almost made me kill the only real friend I had before everything went to shit. I still haven't seen Selina since then but I doubt she'd want to see me."  
She seemed to pull herself out of her memories and shook her head. "I escaped together with Frosty and spent the last few months trying to remember who I was. I know those headaches. They come with the memories, but they will get better."

Oswald blinked at her. He had never expected her to talk so open about her trauma and if he was honest he hadn't expected something quite so drastic either. The city really had changed a lot in the last years.  
Before he could say anything, the tea was done and Bridgit poured them both a mug.  
A few hours later, when Ivy came down to breakfast she found them both sitting at the table in pleasant silence, sipping their third mug of tea.

After that, it became a regular thing for them. Whenever Oswald woke up from headaches or felt disconnected from his past he would knock on Bridgit's door, either with the tea already done or ready to be made. They would do nothing else but sit together, two people with vastly different lifes that were still able to connect to each other through their shared experience.

A few days after that, during another one of their morning tea sessions, they were interrupted by a loud crash across the house, accompanied by unintelligible shouts.  
In seconds Oswald and Bridgit were out of their seats and ran to the source, Bridgit soon passing him. Oswald reached the room with a throbbing knee and a scowl on his face, but all anger at whoever forced him to run without his cane was pushed to the side once he could see what had caused the noise.

"HOW DARE YOU TOUCH MY PLANTS BEANPOLE!!?"  
"I DIDN'T TOUCH ANYTHING, ESPECIALLY NOT YOUR DISGUSTING PLANTS!!"

Ivy, furious and covered in dirt and Ed, who was still in his sleepwear but equally furious stood across from each other, both of them shouting at a deafening volume.

"DON'T LIE TO ME NYGMA!! DO YOU THINK I LET MY PLANTS ROT JUST LIKE THIS??" She gestured towards a plant in her hand, the edges of the leafs slightly crumpled.

Oswald sighed and rubbed his forehead. "Would the two of you please calm down?? It's six in the morning."

Both their heads whipped over to them, eyes shining in fury.  
Before either of them could say a word, Oswald raised his hand, which was evidently enough to shut them up. "What the hell is going on? And don't start screaming again, my headache is bad enough already."

Ivy opened her mouth first, while Ed averted his eyes to the ground, still furious.  
"Nygma touched my plants!! He did something to them and now they're rotting!" Oswald glanced at the plant she was gesturing with and sighed. "The edges are barely brown. That's what plants do. Even your mind control plants" She was still seething but she didn't say anything else.

Oswald turned his attention towards Ed next. "Do you have anything to say in your defense?"  
Ed scowled and glared at Ivy. "I was asleep until this _lunatic_ decided to burst my door down. How the hell was I supposed to do anything to her stupid plants??"  
She looked like she was about to charge at him, her fists balled and her cheeks burning red.

She turned to Oswald now, helplessly gesturing towards Ed. "He wants to use you! I know it! Why else would he show up with you bleeding to death on the doorstep after everything that's happened??"  
Her eyes were pleading with him now. She was close to tears, her whole body tensed up. "He wants to hurt you. That's why he hurts my plants. So I can't protect you from him."

Oswald and Bridgit exchanged a look and she slowly approached Ivy. Bridgit reassuringly laid a hand on her shoulder. Ivy didn't respond to it, but she didn't brush it away either. Oswald considered that an achievement.  
"Come on Ivy, let's go into the kitchen. Oswald will talk to Nygma and we can make another tea for you and talk about it."

Ivy glared at her for a second but then she lowered her eyes and nodded.  
Bridgit sent Oswald a meaningful and Ed a wary look as she lead Ivy out of the room. She let the door open in a clear message that she would hear it if Ed dared to hurt him.

Oswald sighed and winced at the pain that was slowly coming back to his conscience. Ed jumped to his side, arms raised to his hips in what looked like a gesture to help him, but immediately dropped them again and took a step away.  
He coughed and looked away as if he wanted to say something but didn't dare to.

Oswald leant on his good leg and fixed Ed with a serious but not exactly wary glare.  
"Is it true? Are you doing all this to hurt me?"  
Ed stared at him in disbelief and swallowed thickly. He opened his mouth to talk but nothing came out, making him look a like gaping goldfish.  
Oswald stiffled a laugh at the thought.

Ed still looked absolutely helpless, almost making Oswald took mercy on him.  
"I..I don't... _want_ to hurt you, Oswald. I..." Saying that cost him a huge amount of willpower, so much Oswald could tell.  
He jabbed his finger at Ed's chest and almost retracted it at the rapid pounding he could feel inside, even through the shirt Ed was wearing. He caught himself and stared into Ed's eyes.  
"If you dare hurt me or Ivy, or anyone else in this house, I will not hesitate to let Ivy's plants get to you."  
The vague threat seemed enough for Ed. He swallowed again and nodded rapidly, his face a subtle shade of red.

Oswald fixed him with another glare and turned around, slamming the door behind him.

That wasn't the last fight between Ivy and Ed, but it was the most drastic. After that, their fights mostly limited themselves to glares and bitter comments under their breath.

\------

Living in the mansion had become significantly harder for the Riddler once Fries and Pike moved in as well. Living with Ivy had been easy if exhausting, but now there were three of them, all overly suspicious of him and protective of Oswald.

And then there was also the fact that Oswald now called him Ed again. On the Riddler's request no less.  
He couldn't tell why, but for some reason hearing Oswald call him 'Nygma' was decidedly uncomfortable for him. He could have easily asked Oswald to call him 'the Riddler', just like he had before, but that just felt wrong for some reason.  
But even though he could feel his softer side starting to grow stronger and to fight back against his new self every time Oswald called him 'Ed' with that soft tone, even though every time he heard that name painful memories of happier times started flooding through him, he couldn't bring himself to regret it.  
For the first time since Oswald had betrayed him he was content again. He couldn't let something like this destroy that. He had to savour the short time they had left together. 

Ed tried to keep his distance at least a little bit to protect himself from repeating the unpleasant experience with the drugs he knew he would have again if he let Oswald too close to himself before killing him. They had almost killed Ed the last time and he knew he wouldn't be able to throw them out again.  
And yet.... Not a single time Oswald came to his door he rejected him. Not a single time Oswald asked him to eat with him he refused.  
He couldn't explain why, but as soon as those icy green eyes met his own he could never say no. It was confusing to say the least.

Another thing that confused him to no end was the way his blood started to boil whenever Ivy or Pike or, worst of all, Fries did something that made their friendly connection to Oswald especially clear.  
Like Ivy calling Oswald 'Ozzie' or 'Pengy', or Bridgit patting him on the back when Oswald started coughing. Both of them kept glaring at him as soon as he entered the room, even though he had been the one Oswald had originally called his best friend.  
He had been the one to heal his wounds when his mother had died, he had been the one to support him during his whole campaign. He had been the one Oswald had fallen in love with, and yet these two kept acting like he had chosen _them_.

And then there was Fries. Oh _god_ he infuriated Ed. The Riddler. Whatever. He was always _there_ , always watching. He never said or did anything out of the ordinary, but Ed could feel his eyes on him whenever he and Oswald were in the same room.  
Maybe it was just that what bothered him so much. The silence. Fries never laughed, or smiled. The most expressive emotion Ed had ever witnessed him having was a tiny frown at Bridgit calling him Frosty the Snowman. His emotionless, _cold_ demeanour stood in stark contrast not only to Ed's, but to everyone else's behaviour.  
And yet Oswald seemed to like having him around. He tolerated him, anyway, even if he interrupted them, and that was enough for Ed to despise him.  
  
A few days after his fight with Ivy and the threat from Oswald, Ed sat in his room, thankfully still the one he had lived in when the mansion had still been his permanent home.  
It was the early evening and he was looking over some unfinished plans he wanted to execute in the near future, most of them intended for Foxy. He had proven to be a more worthy nemesis than Jim Gordon, one that actually understood him instead of calling him names.  
Even if Ed was currently otherwise occupied, he didn't want to lose focus on his plans for the city. He was fully intend on keeping the Riddler alive, even if he allowed Oswald to call him by his old name for old times' sake, and that included thinking of plans and riddles.

Despite the way Ed had always had a penchant for getting so absorbed into his work he forgot to tend to basic human needs like sleeping or eating, he was getting uncomfortably hungry. Ed had ignored the growls coming from his stomach over the course of the last five hours, but by now it was almost painful. And, more importantly, distracting.

Sighing, Ed cast a glance in the general direction of the door. He wasn't exactly keen on leaving his room and risking encountering Oswald's merry family. The thought tasted bitter on Ed's tongue, but he swallowed and pushed it aside. Alright, so maybe he was avoiding his roommates. And maybe it was because he didn't like to see how close everyone seemed to be with Oswald while he was barely spared a glance, despite Oswald remembering neither of the three. 

Ed almost decided not to leave his room until it was finally nighttime, but another especially loud growl broke his resistance. He crossed the hallways warily and stopped at every corner, peaking around them to prevent an encounter of the more unpleasant kind.  
Soon enough he reached the kitchen and breathed deeply. He had neither seen anyone in there, nor in the hallways. It was pleasant to have the mansion for himself again, in a way.

His peaceful meal was interrupted by a quiet but noticeable sound coming from the living room. Ed almost jumped out of his skin at the tiny clinking sound.  
He peaked around the corner, fist tightly balled around the first sharp object his hand had found in his hurry to check.

Ed breathed out heavily once he saw the source of the unknown noise. Oswald was sitting on the couch, papers in his lap and a cup of tea on the small desk in front of him.  
Ed quietly placed the knife on the decorative table next to him. His heart was still pounding in his chest but by now it was slowly calming down again. Ed blaimed his former job at the GCPD for his outburst, ignoring the tiny voice at the back of his head that reminded him of something much further away than that.

Oswald turned around at Ed's relieved sigh and smiled. "I wanted to talk to you when I finished here. I found something and I'm not entirely sure what it means."  
He patted the space next to him on the couch and went back to staring at the papers in his lap.

Ed stood at the door, unsure of what he should do. The situation was way too familiar and intimate to brush it off just like that, but he couldn't just leave without explanation either.  
He swallowed and slowly sat down next to Oswald, leaving as much space between them as possible. Seeing as how the couch wasn't the biggest and Oswald sat in the middle, they were still sitting pretty close together. Just like last time.

"I found some papers in my bedside drawer and.. I was wondering about something." Ed stared at the crumpled papers with dried watermarks Oswald handed him.  
He recognised them immediately. His fake resignation letter, his official contract of employment he and Oswald had set up just in case and several other papers connected to his time as Oswald's chief of staff.

"What...do you want to know?", Ed said with some hesitancy. Oswald frowned. "I knew I am.. or was the mayor, but you didn't tell me we worked together. I just hoped you could tell me more about how I got this far. It still feels surreal."

"Well... When you freed me from Arkham you already had a _lot_ of fans in Gotham. I wasn't there when it happened, but you told me you helped the citizens 'get rid of the monsters'." He mimicked quotation marks, just like Oswald had when he had told the story. The memory of his mocking chuckle at that sentence vibrated inside Ed's ears.  
"You were scared of Fish killing you, so you riled the citizens up against her and the other escapees of Indian Hill. You never told me what happened to her after that but I suppose she's dead." That seemed to ease Oswald's mind somewhat.

"I helped you with your campaign. The people loved you. You told them exactly what they wanted to hear. You promised them safety and stability and to fix the corruption in the mayor's office and they ate it all up."  
Ed smiled lightly.  
"You were so happy, too. I've never seen you so happy before. You ruled Gotham and no one questioned it because they knew it was meant to be this way."  
Oswald's breath hitched. Ed continued and without meaning his voice dropping lower half an octave.  
"Even when there was trouble, it was only out of jealousy of me for being so close to you."  
Had Oswald's lashes always been so long? Had his freckles always adorned his cheeks like a constellation of stars?

When Ed started talking again, his voice was slightly hoarse.  
"You ruled the city and I was the one person you truly trusted."  
He swallowed and smiled shakily. The words leaving his throat were no longer under his own control.  
"I would have done anything for you."  
Ed couldn't look away. Oswald didn't say a word, and yet his mere presence compelled Ed to stay.  
"I still..."

"I hope I'm not interrupting."  
Both Ed and Oswald snapped out of their trance, leaning as far away from each other as possible without standing up.  
It was Fries, staring down at Ed with wariness and suspicion.

Oswald coughed. "No, no. Of course not. We were just.." He awkwardly gestured between them. "We were just talking about the past."  
Victor nodded curtly and stared at them both like he was thinking hard about something.

Suddenly, and much faster than you would expect someone in a suit like that to move, he sat between them. The couch was way too small for three people sitting next to each other, so both Ed and Oswald had to lean to the side.  
"What part of the past?"

Inside, Ed was fuming. He couldn't tell why, but for some reason he wanted to do indescribable things to Fries for interrupting them. Which was odd enough, because at the same time he felt a wave of relief washing over him now. Ed didn't know what would have happened if Fries had stayed away, but he knew it would have been something his strong self would never allow.   
The realisation that the Riddler didn't fully controlled their body and mind anymore was terrifying enough for Ed but the fact that Oswald was the reason for it was even more so, even if it had to be expected. He had always been able to shake Ed's whole self to the core, even when they had barely known each other.  
_Admit it already._ The voice had become much louder in the time he and Oswald had lived together.

Ed should keep his distance. He knew that. He should walk away, reconnect to Barbara and the others and finally inform them of where he had been all this time and wait for Oswald to remember on his own. Hell, he shouldn't even wait for that, he should just put a bullet in his brain already like he had actually planned back at the docks all that time ago.

But then Oswald turned towards him, eyes shining with emotion.  
And all thoughts of murder were slowly crumbling to dust. They would return, that Ed was sure of, but for now he was content.

Yes, Oswald had to pay and he would, but not now.  
Not yet.  
Not like this.

 _Not ever,_ the voice in his head whispered triumphantly.  
For the first time, Ed couldn't fully push it away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I like it a lot better than the last one if I'm honest
> 
> I won't be able to update the next 2 weeks because I'll be on vacation tomorrow night and I don't have my computer with me. Two weeks without functioning internet. I'll die but I'll probably write too
> 
> See you in two weeks hopefully <3


	7. Fire on the (Plant)floor followed by lots of arguing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM BACK   
> THANK YOU FOR YOUR KUDOS AND COMMENTS seriously I know I barely reply but please know that I appreciate every single one of them SO MUCH  
> And I kept my promise of writing something yey  
> And it's even my favourite chapter since the fourth  
> Please enjoy :)

_What the hell was that??_  
Oswald practically fled the room as soon as Victor had stopped glaring daggers.  
  
Ed's words still resonated deeply in Oswald's mind.   
_I would have done anything for you. I still.._ I still what?? What had Ed been about to say before Victor had interrupted??  
Oswald's cheeks heated up as the same feeling spread in his chest that seemed to seep into him whenever Nygma talked to him, unconsciously smiled at him, no, even when he was just in the same room with him. It left Oswald feeling helpless, utterly and completely exposed. It was confusing, it was dangerous and he shouldn't let a weakness like this consume him like it already had, and yet...

His broken leg could barely keep up with his other one and he stumbled, keeping himself upright by holding on to what parts of the wall he was able to grab. He hissed in pain but kept on half running, half hobbling without an actual destination in mind until he suddenly stood inside a full on jungle.   
Confusedly, he looked around, his previous situation momentarily forgotten. Where the hell was he? He was pretty sure he hadn't been in this part of the mansion before, but he could tell it probably belonged to Ivy. 

Just after that thought formed in his mind, a familiar face appeared behind a giant plant with dark blue petals.   
Ivy practically jumped on him and hugged him with vigor.   
"Ozzie! I can't believe you're here!" She let go of him and grabbed his hand, dragging him towards a desk full of chemicals and vials.  
"Come on, I have so much to show you!"

When he didn't move, she turned around again, squinting suspiciously.   
"What's wrong Pengy?"  
He smiled distractedly. "Nothing. I just wanted to.... thank you again for saving me." It wasn't even a full lie.  
Ivy smiled happily and dismissed him with a wave of her hand. "No need to thank me again. You can, though. Just so you know." She winked and pulled him further to the chemicals on her table.   
This time Oswald didn't resist. Spending some time with the girl insistent on calling herself his sister would hopefully help him take his mind off things, not to mention the fact that he genuinely enjoyed her company most of the time.

"So, this will hopefully be a more devastating version of the perfume I showed you last time. It should be able to paralyze anyone breathing it in to the point of permanent paralization. Not exactly the best way to get information or torture someone, but I thought, hey, why not make a bunch of different perfumes so Pengy has a bigger variety to choose from?."   
She beamed at him and went on and on about the different factors influencing the growth of the plants she had used.

Oswald spaced out after a few seconds. He knew he should probably listen more carefully, both for Ivy's happiness and for the fact she was actually making weapons for him almost twenty four hours a day, but he couldn't help it.   
He kept seeing Ed's face behind his eyes every time he blinked. His words still repeated themselves over and over again, drowning out almost all other sounds around him.

Oswald tried to follow Ivy's instructions as she explained that he needed exactly three drops of the blue liquid she had pushed into his hands in the light brown liquid on the desk, but all he could see were Ed's eyes- "Oswald!"

He startled and jumped, accidentally hitting the vial and spilling it all over the desk.   
Ivy yelped and scrambled to get everything as far out of the quickly spreading liquid as possible. Before she could reach the last vial, a red goo, it tipped and the two chemicals connected.   
The table was burning faster than either of them had anticipated. Ivy shouted at Oswald to grab the fire extinguisher next to him and he could finally move, practically throwing it at her.

Ivy ripped off the safety and used it to put out the fire that was getting dangerously close to the edge of the table.   
Both of them huffed in exhaustion and sat down as soon as the fire was out. The vines and branches covering the floor were oddly comfortable to sit between.

Once both of them had caught their breath, Ivy glared at Oswald. "What the hell is going on with you? You almost burned down my whole lab! All my plants are in here!"  
Oswald breathed out a "Sorry" and looked away, inspecting the plants filling the room with much more interest he would usually invest in them.

Ivy squinted suspiciously. "Okay, spill. And not like you just did, please. What happened?"  
He tried to ignore her, but she was as insistent as ever. At last he gave in.   
"I think... I think I like Ed."

Ivy gaped at him, mouth open like a goldfish. Oswald fought off the emberassed blush he felt coming and went back to inspecting the plants in the room.

"You.. Really??" He turned back to Ivy and almost jumped. Her face was so full of joy, it was almost unbelievable she had glared at him just seconds ago.  
Suddenly she sobered up and slid closer to him, lowering her voice to a barely-there whisper.   
"He didn't.. make you do anything, right?" "What?? No!" Oswald shook his head in disbelief. She shrugged and grinned again. "Too bad. I have some amazing new toxins I would have liked to try out."

She scooted even closer to him and crossed her legs. "So? How do you know? When? Why?" Oswald rolled his eyes and sighed. Of course she would want to know. He almost regretted telling her. Almost.

"I don't even know for sure I do. Like him I mean." Ivy nodded impatiently and gestured him to continue.   
"I just asked him something about when I was mayor. Apparently he was my best friend, did you know that?" He didn't wait for an answer. "And then..." Oswald fought off a blush at the memory. Ivy practically squealed.  
He hurried to finish the story.   
"Then Victor came in and I ran away. See, nothing serious."

Ivy frowned but kept her amused expression at the same time. It was almost impressive.   
"So what are you planning to do now? Confess your feelings? Write a letter? A speech? OH!" She hit Oswald's arm exitedly and ignored his yelp and the following glare. "We can make dinner for you two! I know Bridgit can cook almost everything and I bet Vic knows how to make ice cream."   
She giggled at her own joke. Oswald shook his head in disbelief, but inside he felt something stirr. Something about what Ivy had just said seemed to remind him of something.

"Of course not! I barely remember knowing him! And besides, wasn't it _you_ who warned me not to trust him? I thought you hate him!"   
Ivy nodded and waved her hand dismissively. "I don't trust him at all and if he tries anything I'll be the first to torture him. But I know you two had something going on between you if your 'yay I'm mayor'-party was anything to go by."   
She sighed. "You know I'd rather kick him out or let Vic freeze him or whatever, but even a blind guy could see he's got a thing for you."

Oswald blinked. "...Really?" He felt his cheeks heat up but tried to keep it down as much as he could.   
Ivy rolled her eyes and nodded. "I really want you to be happy, Pengy. Just.... make sure he doesn't actually want to murder you or something." She laughed weakly but Oswald could see right through it.   
It was nice to have someone worry about him again. He wondered if that meant Ed qualified as a 'painted lady' as his mother had so wonderfully put it and almost burst out laughing.

He helped Ivy sort through the mess they had made. They both worked in amicable silence to get the vials back in the place they came from. Thankfully no other chemical had spilled in Ivy's rush to clear the table.   
Once they were done Ivy waved him goodbye, half-jokingly complaining about his complete incompetence when it came to chemistry.

At the door, Oswald turned around and smiled at Ivy, who was already starting to mix the various chemicals together.   
"Ivy?"   
She turned her head questioningly. Her hand came dangerously close to another vial, but unlike Oswald before she was still focussed on her task.   
"What is it?"  
"Thank you."

She smiled sadly.   
"Hey, what's a family for?"

\------

Oswald approached Ed a day later as he was working on another plan for Foxy. At this point it was merely a way to pass the time. His whole desk was full of finished plans waiting to be executed.

Oswald was dressed in one of his newer suits, one of the many they had picked out together in the days directly following Ed's release from Arkham. His hair still looked a little different from how Ed remembered it, less deliberately styled, but it was regaining its' old style.

He stood before Ed's table, fidgeting with his cane nervously. "Can I talk to you?"  
Ed nodded, face still burried in the countless words and scribbles on the papers before him.   
He heard Oswald take a deep breath. "What happened that made us want to fight each other?"

Ed froze. He hadn't expected the question to arise this soon. He probably should have, knowing Oswald's need for control and having seen him break down from the lack of memories, but he hadn't. Maybe a part of him hadn't wanted him to ask in the first place.

"...Why do you think we fought?" Oswald shrugged. "You said we had an argument. That can mean a lot of things."  
Ed nodded and grit his teeth.   
"I... met someone. A woman. We had a few dates. I loved her."  
Oswald sceptically raised his left eyebrow. "After a few dates? I'm not exactly an expert, but isn't that a little fast?"

Ed almost laughed. He settled for sending a small glare in Oswald's direction. His friend -were they friends?- raised his hands in mock surrender and rolled his eyes. "Alright, you loved her. So what?"  
"You killed her."

That seemed to sober Oswald up. He blinked in confusion and smiled uneasily. "I.. what?"  
Ed turned to look at him and stood up. Oswald stayed where he was, making the space between them rather small. Ed could feel Oswald's breath on his face as he stared up at him.

"You killed her. My only chance at a normal life." He fought to keep the shadow of old anger he felt out of his voice.  
Oswald seemed unfazed by his shaking voice.   
"Oh, please, Ed. I know I don't remember everything that's happened and I know right now I may not be the greatest judge of character, but even I know that's not true."

Ed recoiled and took a step backwards.   
"What did you say?" His anger was palpable now.   
Oswald's voice was inexplicably calm. He didn't even seem angry, just annoyed.

"I've seen you kill, Ed. More than once. That kind of sadism isn't just erased by liking a pretty girl. She may have been able to help you supress who you really are for a while, but sooner or later you wouldn't have been able to live like that anymore."  
Ed swallowed hard and stared at the ground. Apparently neither Oswald, nor his arguments ever changed.  
"She accepted me. She read everything she could find about me and still came to our date, knowing I killed my ex girlfriend. She dressed up as her to show me I didn't need to be afraid I might kill her. She..." Ed was struggling for words.

Oswald just raised his eyebrow again. "Do you even realise how creepy that sounds?"  
Ed's head snapped up again and he snarled. "That's not the point! She was my only way back and you destroyed that! And afterwards you lied to my face about it!"   
This time Oswald had nothing to say. He just looked up at Ed, his lips slightly parted and grief written all over his face.   
"I thought we were friends, Oswald. I thought I could trust you. I was suffering and you pretended to care, you even promised you would help me get revenge. For the first time in my life I thought I found an actual friend. Someone that doesn't lie or betray me, that I could always count on. You have no idea how terrible it was to lose that."

A pained expression had taken hold of Oswald's face.  
"I think I do", he muttered, his voice slightly hoarse.   
Neither of them said a word, both of them staring at a point across from them, careful not to look the other in the eye.

At last, Oswald sighed and _finally_ focussed his eyes on Ed's. Almost as if it was moving at its own accord, his arm raised, his hand softly touching the lapels on Ed's suit. His fingers dug into the fabric as he was struggling to find the right words. 

"What do you want me to do, Ed? I can't reverse what I've done. Do you want me to say sorry?" Ed didn't answer Oswald's almost whispered question, but he didn't need to.   
"I can't do that, Ed. I can't apologise for something I can't remember doing. I'm sorry my actions hurt you and made us turn against each other, but I can't aplogise for what I did."

Neither of them moved a single inch. Ed couldn't turn away from Oswald. All he could do was look at him. Among all the pain and anger at the man in front of him, he also felt.. pride?   
Yes, pride and admiration. Oswald had always been unapologetic of his actions and Ed wasn't at all surprised he wouldn't say sorry, but the fact that he still tried, just for Ed's sake, meant the world to Ed.   
He almost laughed at the thought. Only two weeks earlier he would have killed Oswald without hesitating. He would have regretted it the moment he did it, just like last time, but he wouldn't have hesitated.  
And now? He was practically content with what other people would consider a half-assed apology. He lived together with Oswald and his little freak-family, all of which hated him, in the mansion. He hadn't left the building in weeks, neither to go to the city as a civilian nor as the Riddler and it didn't even really bother him.  
When had he suddenly changed so much?

A ringing phone broke both of them out of their reverie.   
Ed confusedly patted his pockets as he recognised his ringtone and pulled out his phone.

"Hello?"  
"Eddie! Finally! I've been trying to call you for ages!"

Ed jumped up and fled the room, leaving behind a very perplexed and very confused Oswald.  
Once he was back in the safety of his room he whispered into the phone.

"Barbara! What the hell do you want?"  
He could practically hear her eye-roll as she answered. "Sorry for being worried about you, geez."   
Internally, Ed snorted. As if she ever cared for him. He answered as calm as he could. "I told you not to call this number unless it's an emergency. You can't be clogging up the lines."  
"Yes, and I told you to FIND OUT WHAT THE HELL THE COURT OF OWL IS!" Ed held the phone as far away from his ear as possible to prevent his ear drums from shattering. Her screaming voice was much more shrill than she would admit.   
"Calm down, I found them. I can tell you everything I know." "Don't bother, darling. They're destroyed. The city is in ruins and since you weren't there, I had nothing to trade for the control over the entire city! I could have everything, you know. I was almost there, and you ruined it all. The only good thing that came out of your disappereance was Tabby and Butch finally calming down. Where the hell have you been??"  
"I was kidnapped, I thought you knew that." She sighed loudly and in her usual over-dramatic way, just like everything she did. "Yes, you were, but you can't tell me you've been with the Court for three weeks. They've been gone since almost a month. And besides, even if you _had_ just escaped today, that's still no excuse for not calling me! You said yourself we'd be partners."

Now it was Ed's turn to roll his eyes. He regretted ever deciding to work with imbeciles like Barbara, who didn't get there was something more important in the world like control.   
Like revenge. Or lo-. No. Revenge.

"Well first of all, _Babs_ , I was busy. Second of all, I'm under no obligation whatsoever to keep in contact with you if there's nothing important going on. How do you expect me to call you when I'm busy nursing Oswald back-" "Penguin is alive????" "Yes. No. What?" "So he is."  
Ed mentally kicked himself. How could someone that had tricked the most intelligent man he had ever known apart from himself and the entire GCPD be so terrible at lying??

"How did he survive?? Or no, was he brought back?? By who??" Before Ed could answer any of her questions, she continued. "Doesn't matter. Where is he? Why haven't you killed him yet?"  
"He's in his old mansion but you can't kill him Barbara." "And why is that??"  
"Because I- he isn't a threat to you. He has amnesia, he doesn't remember what you did to him."   
Her laugh was like poison against his ear. "How convenient. So he has all the power he's had before but doesn't remember our betrayal? Especially not _yours_ , I take it? So what, you want some more precious moments with your boyfriend? Forget it Eddie!" Had her voice always been so malicious? Ed knew she was vicious and didn't care about who she had to step on to get her way, but this complete disregard for her accomplices wishes felt... unusual to say the least.   
"We could easily manipulate him into giving us everything we want and kill him then! This is too good to miss out."

Panicking, Ed dropped the low volume he had held before. "No! Don't kill him! You don't understand, I-.... I told you I must be the one to do it, and I decide when it happens. No one else." She sighed. "I'll think about it. In the meantime, don't forget _you_ were the one that insisted we absolutely need to kill him. Don't start going back on your promises now." She hung up and left Ed behind, standing in his bedroom, cold fear taking over him.

What if she decided to show up unanounced one day? What if she brought assassins or just decided to kill Oswald herself?

A part of him wanted to just hand over Oswald and go back to embarassing the police with his riddles. Another, much larger part wanted to storm into Barbara's club and make sure neither her, nor Tabitha, nor that one handed ape Butch would hurt Oswald ever again.   
He couldn't even hold his betrayal against him anymore. Oswald had apologised. Didn't that mean the fight was over? Ed didn't know. Was it bad he wanted it to be over?   
He had never had a friend as close as Oswald before. None of his collegues had ever felt the need to give him an honest apology but they hadn't _mattered_ like Oswald had anyway.

He heard the voices in his head getting louder and louder as his hand slipped off the doorknob and his legs shook with the effort of keeping Ed standing.  
Ever since Oswald had woken up, his personality had begun to splinter again. Ed couldn't live another day hearing those voices shouting and whispering contradictory things in his ear while his heart wanted something else.   
_Here we are again. Two sides at war with each other. You remember what we had to do last time to become whole, don't you Eddie?_

He hated himself for thinking like that, but a part of him knew Barbara was right.   
He had to. What other choice did he have?

The gun dropped to the floor. Ed had to grab at the wall with all he had to keep himself upright.  
Sobs shook throughout his body and tears clouded his vision as a realisation struck Ed like a bold of lightning.

He didn't want to kill Oswald.   
He hadn't wanted to since he had seen Oswald collapse in that street after escaping the Court, hadn't truly wanted it ever.

That realisation did nothing but further Ed's devastation.   
The thought of killing Oswald made him feel like he was drowning. Like he was the one being pushed into Gotham harbour, a gaping hole in his chest. Like hundreds of tiny needles poking his skin until his body was torn open and his heart was laid bare.  
It was unbearable to even think about it, let alone do it.  
And yet, he had no choice.

_Give up, Ed._   
_Kill him, or we will kill you._   
_One way or the other, we'll be quiet._   
_And that's what you want, right?_

No. There was one thing he could do. One way to keep the voices out. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoever can spot the Hamilton reference gets.. nothing really but I really want to know if anyone who reads this likes it so  
> yeah  
> I hope you enjoyed it!


	8. That little voice at the back of your head

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am back!   
> This chapter was supposed to be nothing but fluff. oops  
> The Hamilton reference last chapter was 'helpless' by the way. I used that word once. Shh that counts.

The 'Family of Freaks', as Ivy had so fittingly called them, sat at the table, eating breakfast together. It had become a habit over the past weeks and although it reminded Oswald of the time when he was still happily living with his mother and made him recall her death every time, it was a habit he would never want to miss.   
Ivy and Bridgit were babbling about something he didn't pay attention to with the occasional interruption by Victor, which was usually met with a glare from Bridgit and a giggle from Ivy.  
He worried his bottom lip between his teeth and set aside his food.

Ivy's hand on his pulled Oswald back into the real world. "Are you alright Ozzie?"  
He nodded and smiled tightly. "Everything is fine, it's just... have any of you seen Ed recently?" Bridgit shrugged. "Doesn't he always hide in his room for hours?"

"Yes, but he hasn't been downstairs once, not even for coffee. I always wake up when he gets his coffee from the kitchen, but since he got that call I slept until you two get up."  
Ivy exchanged a look with the other two. "It's super sweet you're worried about him Pengy, but I don't think it's anything serious." Bridgit nodded for emphasis. As usual, Victor didn't react.

Oswald sighed and settled for biting into his bread, but before it could reach his mouth he had already dropped it.   
"I have to check on him. He could be dead for all we know. I just have a bad feeling."  
He stood up and left the room hastily, ignoring the uncomfortable exchange of glances between Bridgit and Ivy.

Oswald felt like he was overreacting even just walking up to Ed's room. What was the worst that could have happened? Surely Ed wasn't dead. He didn't strike Oswald as the type of person to just wither away from not eating enough.   
_He probably just has food in his room so he doesn't have to see us._ Yes. That had to be it. As much as that thought hurt, it was the most positive option Oswald could think of.

He softly knocked on Ed's door.   
"Ed? Are you alright?" When Ed didn't answer, Oswald knocked again, this time with much more force.   
"Open the door, Ed. I need to know you're okay."  
Again, no answer. Oswald considered just giving in, longingly remembering the food in the kitchen still waiting for him, but now he was more worried than ever.

He turned the doorknob, sure it would be locked, and startled when it opened without any sort of resistance.   
"..Ed?" Oswald cautiously stuck his head through the doorway, taking a peak at the room inside.   
What he saw made his blood run cold.

Ed was slouched on the floor against the bed, his hair dishelved and glasses askew. Cold sweat ran over his forehead and closed eyes and he was shivering like he was cold.  
Without hesitating for even a second, Oswald hobbled towards Ed and fell to his knees, taking in Ed's pale face and forcefully shaking his shoulders.

"Ed, wake up!" His eyes slowly fluttered open and fell closed again, his eyelids too weak to hold themselves up for longer than a second.   
Oswald scooted closer to Ed and cradled his head in his hands, tilting it upwards.  
"You need to breathe, Ed." _Hypocrite,_ Oswald thought as he himself struggled to breathe through the awful feeling in his chest and his vision became obscured by tears.

Through the veil of his own horror he saw Ed's face slipping from his fingers and falling to lay on his own shoulder. "No no no no, s-stay awake!!"

He stumbled to his feet and rushed to the door, using the doorframe to support his weight as he shouted for Ivy to help him.   
She arrived faster than he had hoped, Bridgit and even Victor hot on her heels.

Ivy fell to the floor next to Ed, measuring his pulse. She immediately turned to Bridgit and shouted something Oswald couldn't fully understand. He was on Ed's other side, fingers desperately and without meaning to grasping at Ed's sleeve, his fingers, any part of him they could reach.

Bridgit returned only a moment later, letting a bunch of plants fall into Ivy's lap. Even she seemed to be worried now, as she didn't even complain about the lack of concern for her plants.

She immediately got to work, coiling a vine around Ed's neck. Oswald grabbed her had before she could finish. "What are you doing??" She ripped his hand away and continued. "I don't have time to explain. If you want him to get better, let me do my work."   
Oswald hesitated as he saw the thorns pricking Ed's skin, almost drawing blood, but gave in and let his hand fall to his side.

When she was done, Ivy gestured towards Victor and Bridgit, who immediately rushed inside and lifted Ed's motionless body.   
"Be careful!" Oswald held up Ed's arm in support as long as the other three were busy lifting him.   
His arm now at face level, Oswald noticed the blood on Ed's knuckles for the first time but before he could question it, the others had carried him away.

Ivy stayed for a moment longer, giving Oswald a sisterly pat on the shoulder. "He'll be okay. He always is. And now he even has me to nurse him back to health." She tried to laugh to cheer Oswald up, but it came out hoarse and humorless.   
After another moment, Ivy gave up trying to comfort Oswald and left the room to help the other two.

Aimlessly, Oswald started pacing through the room. How had this happened?? It wasn't like Ed just randomly got sick as far as Oswald knew. He just didn't seem like a sickly person.

Suddenly, Oswald's foot hit something small and circular.   
He crouched down and caught it before it could roll under the bed.   
As he stood up again, wincing through the pain in his knee, he examined the small object in his hand and stifled a gasp.

It was a white capsule.   
Oswald hurriedly searched the room for more of them, but it seemed all that was left of them was the one in his hand.

He entered the bathroom to wash away the horror he felt but recoiled when he saw the mirror, burst into pieces from what looked like blunt force.   
The memory of the blood on Ed's hand forced itself back into the forefront of Oswald's mind.

He staggered out of the room with shaky knees and let himself fall onto the floor outside. Not even the sharp pain in his leg could distract him from the horror he felt.

\---

"....been unconscious for hours."  
"....plants.."   
"....don't tell Ozzie yet."

Only fragments of the words appearing around him reached his mind at all. Everything else was hidden behind that overpoweringly shrill beeping.

"....try this."  
Something tickled his nose and a sweet smell filled his senses, driving away the strong hold the dizziness had over his body.

Ed's eyes fluttered open. After a few failed attempts he could finally hold them open at his own free will.   
He blinked away the blurry veil his eyes had conjured and coughed. That tiny motion alone was enough to have him gasp in pain, squeezing his eyes shut once again.

"He's awake! Get Oswald, now!"   
Ed was vaguely aware of a door opening and closing again as he regained his senses for the second time.   
Using all the strengh at his disposal, he sat up slightly and reached to the bedside drawer. Luckily someone had placed his glasses there and he put them on.

Just as the blurry edge to Ed's vision started to subside fully, the door was ripped open and slammed against the wall. Ed winced and blinked to look at the person in the doorframe.

Oswald was breathing heavily. His hair was unnaturally dishelved and lacked its' usual spikiness. Dried tearstains adorned his flushed cheeks and as he stared at Ed, new tears were beginning to form.

"Oswald." Ed's voice was too raspy, even in his own perception. It resembled the way he had spoken Oswald's name for the first time in the cages, only a lot weaker.

Before Ed could say anything else, like 'thank you' or 'how did you find out', he suddenly held Oswald's small frame in his arms. Oswald's grip on his back was impossibly tight and Ed could feel his forming tears against his own cheek.  
"You're alive."   
An incredibly strong urge to pull Oswald closer to him took hold of Ed, but he couldn't move his arms to save his life. He settled for leaning into Oswald's touch and nestling his head against the crook of his neck instead. He hadn't felt this safe, this _loved_ in months.  
Ed nodded weakly and Oswald pulled back.

Against all odds, Oswald had found him. He had worried about him, he had found him and he had saved him.   
_Again_.  
At the voice resurfacing in Ed's mind, the smile that had crept onto Ed's features disappeared completely and was replaced by an expression of utmost horror.

"You can't be here, Oswald."   
He already felt his fingers twitch. The voices in his mind started roaring, screaming, ordering him to get up and- he didn't dare to even think the rest of the thought. He had already felt a life of someone he cherished cease through his hand once. He would never let it happen again.

Oswald too had lost his smile. "Of course I can be here! Do you really think I'd leave you alone after overdosing yourself and punching a mirror?? What were you trying to do, kill yourself??"   
Ed vigorously shook his head, trying to shake away the confirmation the voices so desperately wanted to give, even if it wasn't true.

"No, I..."   
_But you did, didn't you?_  
 _You wanted to get away from us._  
 _You wanted to keep us from making you kill him._  
"I just..."  
 _Look at him. All concerned._  
 _And weak._  
 _It would be so easy to kill him._  
 _Remember how good you felt after you killed Kristen?_  
 _Maybe when the little bird stays dead you will feel just as great._  
 _If not better._  
"Leave me alone!"   
_We will never leave you alone, Eddie._  
 _We will always be here for you._

Two soft hands embraced Ed's own and pulled them away from his face. He hadn't even noticed he had moved them until now. Even worse, he hadn't even noticed he was about to scratch himself again. 

"Ed, you need to calm down. There is no one here but us."  
Ed shook his head and tried to free his hands without consciously deciding to do so.   
_Wouldn't his corpse look pretty?_  
 _All glassy eyes and pale skin. Even more pale than now._  
 _Don't you want to find out?_

A hoarse cry escaped Ed's throat. The voices of his splintering self were like a thunderous storm now, threatening to break his last resolve at resisting them.   
Would it really be that bad to give in? To do what they wanted?

His eyes met Oswald's own. He was shaking in concern and fear, but he didn't let go of Ed's hands. On the contrary, he only tightened his hold on them.   
"I am here Ed. It's just me. No one can hurt you. I won't let them. You can trust me."

_Don't listen to him, Eddie._  
 _Remember what happened last time?_  
 _When he betrayed you._  
Ed shook his head. "He apologised. He saved me."  
 _You really think he meant that?_  
 _You're more gullible than I thought you were._  
"He did! He wouldn't lie about that. He can't."  
Ed's hands were fidgeting in Oswald's grip, twising and turning in it.   
The voices didn't answer. They just cackled manically, just like Ed remembered doing not so long ago.

"Ed, I don't know what's going on but whatever it is.. you're not alone with this."   
Ed felt Oswald coming closer and immediately tried to scoot away from him. He knew if he came too close his splintering self would break at last, only leaving behind the monster that made him kill and torture so many before him.

Oswald immediately stopped moving, just a few inches away from Ed.   
"If you don't want me to touch you that's fine. I won't force you to do anything. But, Ed, you have to break out of whatever is going on inside your head. It's not good for you." With an unnaturally shaky voice, he added: "And if I'm being honest, it's scaring me."

Ed felt his hands go limp in Oswald's grip and Oswald let go of his right, instead deciding to hold his left hand in a reassuring and comforting manner.  
The voices were still roaring inside Ed's head, but something about the warm touch on his wrist at least steadied him in the real world.

He raised his head again and looked directly at Oswald for the first time since he had come in. He could only imagine what he looked like. Bloodshot eyes and puffy cheeks were a given, but he hoped he hadn't left too terrible scratchmarks on his face.

Oswald swallowed thickly and semi-consciously played with Ed's fingers.   
"Is it better now?"   
Ed nodded lightly, and to his surprise, it didn't even feel like a lie.

"Can you tell me what was going on just now?"   
Ed hesitated. He wanted to tell Oswald, if only to relieve him of his worry, but he didn't want to seem like he was insane either. He wasn't, of course, but it was still a weakness he didn't want anyone to know.  
His throat didn't seem to agree with his brain though, as the words began spilling from him.

"There are..voices. In my head. Like splinters of my past selves. They're telling me things, they want me to do things I don't want to do."   
Oswald didn't seem to reject him yet, so Ed continued, grateful to finally be able to let it all out.   
"And every time I decide to do or not to do something, they disagree. Even if I give in, they just change their opinion. It's like I can't do anything right, even in my own mind."

Ed looked down at his and Oswald's intertwined fingers and a rush of warmth consumed him before the all too familiar dread could settle in once more.  
"That's why I took the pills. They make them stronger but only let one of them through. I can't control which one it is but it's easier to resist one person screaming at you than five."

Oswald was silent for quite some time. The only sound in the room was the steady beeping from the heart monitor next to Ed's bed.   
Finally, he opened his mouth again.  
"Have you taken these pills before?"  
Ed didn't answer, but he knew he didn't have to. His silence was confirmation enough.

But contrary to what Ed expected at such an admission, Oswald didn't insult him or call him a freak. He didn't even laugh, or recoil, or leave.   
All he did was tighten the grip on Ed's hand.

"Ed, look at me."   
Hesitantly, Ed did as he was told. He was still scared of what he might do if he let Oswald come to close.

"Why are you giving these voices the right to decide who you are?"  
Ed blinked. "Excuse me?"  
"I am by no means an expert on these things, but these splinters as you call them are not you. They all are a part of you but they don't get to decide who you are. Only you do."

Ed blinked. That wasn't what he had expected. He had expected insults, mockery, anything he was used to. Not support.  
Ed knew it wasn't as easy as Oswald made it out to be. Oswald couldn't know how he felt, he had never experienced what Ed used to every day. But just the knowledge that he tried to comfort Ed as good as he could, that he neither rejected him after knowing about his biggest weakness nor used it against him was incredible.  
His throat suddenly felt incredibly dry.   
"Why are you telling me this?"

Oswald didn't answer right away. A myriad of emotions flickered over his face, too fast for Ed to even begin to interpret.   
Finally, he shrugged and smiled weakly. "I guess I just don't want to see my friend suffer like that."

_Friend._  
The word seemed to vibrate in Ed's mind, repeating itself over and over again.   
It had been so long since he and Oswald had been on friendly terms. For months all notion of friendship with Oswald had been buried deeply underneath layers and layers of self-loathing, the burning need for revenge and a bitterness that had settled deeply into both their core. Even living together in the mansion now they barely talked more than five sentences before awkwardly breaking the conversation.

With a start, Ed realised how much he had missed being friends with Oswald. He missed eating with him, he missed ruling with him, he missed being able to talk to him. But most of all, he just missed knowing there would always be someone he could count on and that trusted him in return.

Even despite all that had happened between them, all the hate and anger, all the hurt and fear, Ed still wanted to revive what they once had.  
But.. would that even be possible with this Oswald? Would Oswald still want this if he remembered?

Realising he had stared at Oswald without saying anything, he quickly looked down at their hands. His index-finger lazily drew patterns and shapes into Oswald's hand.

"You don't even really know me, Oswald."  
He couldn't see his face, but Ed knew Oswald was smiling.   
"I know. But I'm planning to."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you know, I have no idea how Ed's condition actually works. It doesn't seem like anything that actually exist (that I know of) so I just went with what felt right to write. If there's anything wrong with how I described his condition or Oswald's reaction to it, please let me know. I can't make major changes anymore but I can see what I can do. I'm not an expert in psychology so if anyone of you is, I'd appreciate your help
> 
> To anyone else, feel free to comment as well! I love seeing comments on my works, no matter what they say!


	9. Bombshell Blonde

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaah shit it's been two weeks since the last chapter.. sorry  
> Thank you for your kudos and comments anyway.

After Ivy released Ed from her makeshift hospital, life in the mansion became considerably more easy.

The first few days after, Oswald always seemed to hover around him in some way. Sometimes he was buzzing around Ed, pulling chairs for him and handing him things he could easily reach on his own, other times he just hovered at the doorway of a room Ed was in.  
On those occasions, Ed sometimes saw his friend (he still felt something in his chest flutter at that word) fidgeting with his hands and twitching when Ed winced even just slightly, like he was about to jump to his side and go back to being almost unnervingly helpful.

Oswald wasn't the only one acting different now.  
To Ed's complete surprise, both Ivy and Bridgit seemed to have taken some kind of liking on him.

While he was still in Ivy's 'hospital', she visited him multiple times, usually to adjust the plants around him or exchange some of them.  
One time though, she hovered around the plants for longer than what was strictly necessary.

At Ed's question of what was taking her so long, she gave up pushing around the leaves on a particularly delicate plant and sat down on his bed, huffing out her displeasure.

What followed was the most confusing and rapid shovel talk he had ever experienced. Not that he had experienced that many.

"Listen Riddleboy, I know you and Pengy had some major drama with each other and that you seem to think you have to go on with that and kill him one day, but he really likes you for some reason, so if you _dare_ to even touch a single curl on his head, even if he remembers all the shit he went through with you, I will personally make sure you become fertilizer for a particularly devious plant. I've never seen him this happy before in all the time I've known him and even though I hate your guts for what you did to him already I'll tolerate your existence as long as Ozzie isn't harmed. Deal?"  
Ed had to blink a few times before the whole symbolic weight of Ivy's outstreched hand settled into his mind, but once it had he quickly took it.  
Ivy left with a grin and whistling some melody Oswald had undoubtedly taught her.

Her behaviour towards him hadn't changed that much at first, but at some point she started including him in her babbling about fertilizer and botany when he was eating with the others.  
Out of a confusing need to help Ed Oswald had insisted on him eating breakfast with the others on a daily basis. Maybe to ensure he ate at all, maybe to just spend time with him. Ed didn't really care as both options sent a pleasant shiver down his spine whenever he started theorising about it.

Fries' behaviour didn't change in the slightest, but that didn't bother Ed. On the contrary, it made it easier for him to dislike the guy, and Ed took a great deak of joy out of teasing 'Frosty'. That, in turn, strenghened his cameradry with Bridgit.

One morning after Ed had actually slept the full night through due to Oswald's insistence not to work until 3am, he was chewing on a piece of bread in amicable silence with the three less icy members of Oswald's family, when Fries had entered, in his full body robot suit and ice gun hanging at his side.  
Ed had made a stupid little comment about the way he supposed Fries' spent his free time that may or may not have been a pun on his expense. Fries didn't react and only relieved the freezer from all its' ice cream before leaving, but Ed caught Bridgit stiffling a laugh behind her hand.

She was still incredibly wary of him afterwards, but she didn't threaten him every single time she saw him anymore.  
They nodded at each other when they passed the other somewhere in the mansion and occasionally tried to get behind Fries' cold facade with light insults and puns, but so far the best reaction they had managed had been a raised eyebrow and a twitch of his lip.  
None of it was meant in an actual hateful way, Fries was part of Oswald's little family afterall, but it quickly it became one of Ed's favourite pastimes in the mansion.

Ed's decision not to kill Oswald had not only brought more arguments with his inner voices, which Oswald was always happy to help him with, it had also brought up the question of what to do with his life now.  
Over the past weeks the only thing on Ed's mind had been his revenge and his efforts to keep up his stronger self, but now...

The more he thought about it, the more he realised he wanted to further embrace his Riddler persona and build it up to be a prominent and fearsome member of Gotham's underworld. Tricking the GCPD and emberassing them the few times he had had been positively intoxicating and Ed would hate to miss it.  
Besides, all the countless plans he'd made for Foxy during all these weeks would go wasted if he decided not to.

With Oswald's help he had learned he didn't need to murder the person closest of all to him to keep being the Riddler if he didn't decide to do so.  
The idea of living here, at the mansion, with Oswald and Ivy and Bridgit and even Fries was still something that needed to grow on him a little more due to their mutual history of animosity, mistrust and in some cases even hate, but with every warm smile from Oswald that somehow always managed to reach Ed's chest when he entered the room, every giggle from Bridgit at an especially clever ice pun, every time Ivy let him and Oswald have time for themselves even despite her protectiveness for her adoptive brother felt like a milestone on his way to accepting this family as his own.

Of course it would take a lot of work and determination to combine both his efforts to keep the police on their toes and to still spend enough satisfactory time with all four other residents of the mansion, especially with Oswald, but Ed was determined to try.  
It wasn't going to be easy, but nothing he really wanted ever was.  
Besides, when had he ever backed down from a challenge?

It was that challenge that spurred Ed to approach Ivy one afternoon as she was putting on her shoes and jacket.  
She had been tasked with buying groceries and whatever else the others needed as.. well. Everyone else just stood out too much.  
Oswald was supposed to be dead, not to mention a mob boss and the ex-mayor, Bridgit had horrible scorch marks all over the right side of her body that she still needed more time to accept as part of herself, Fries couldn't leave his freezer without his suit and was known as a murderer as well and Ed was still wanted by the GCPD for murder, attempted murder and theft.  
None of those options really invited themselves to just wander around in broad daylight.

At least the only attention Ivy would receive was the one she got by both men and women way older than herself.  
Since she had mentioned it, Oswald had been reluctant to let her go outside on her own.  
Eventually, he let up, if only due to Ivy's insistence and the reminder that she still had her magical mind-control perfume applied every time she left the house.  
The whole issue only showcased how much Oswald reciprocated Ivy's affections. It was sweet. Ed felt a surge of jealousy he couldn't explain every time it came up, but he was grateful she was protecting him in any case.

Ivy eyed him up and down, taking in his sort of inconspicuous black suit with a raised eyebrow and sent him a questioning look as he approached.

"I thought you might want company on your way to the store."  
She didn't answer, only further raising her eyebrow.  
Ed continued, a slight irritation now apparent in his tone. "It's a long way to the city, and since you always go alone, I thought maybe.."

Before he could make a complete fool of himself, Ivy thankfully stopped him. "Don't worry Riddleboy, I won't be alone. Not that it should matter to you, but I'm meeting someone."

Ed could practically see Oswald's both worried and delighted expression at that. He supressed the smile threatening to show on his features and frowned for good measure.  
"Who? One of those old men you steal money from?"

Her expression shifted from one of apprehension and amusement to pure irritation.  
"I'm not even going to ask how you know about this, but _no_ , I'm not meeting one of them. Unlike you, I have friends outside this house, so don't pretend you know anything about me."

Even though Ed tried to fix the hurt on his face, some of it seemed to have shown on his face, because Ivy relented and sighed.  
"I didn't mean to insult you. Not completely I mean. Maybe a little bit. But seriously, I'm meeting my friend and I don't need anyone to come with me for that. Especially not someone the GCPD is still trying to lock up."

Ed swallowed down his disappointment and nodded. He hated being rejected, always had, but his, too, was something he would have to learn if he really wanted to balance these two sides of his life.  
Before Ivy could say another word, Ed turned on his heel and left. She didn't see the deep frown on his face, nor did he the quiet concern on hers.

On his way to his room Ed bumped into something decidedly small and immediately knew it was Oswald. His friend hated being reminded of his height, but that didn't change the fact that he was by far the smallest person living in the mansion.

"Oh, Ed! I was just looking for you, there's something-.. Is everything alright?"  
Ed nodded rapidly, irritated Oswald could so easily tell something was wrong just by looking at him. The irritation quickly faded though, as Ed saw the genuine concern on Oswald's face and remembered how he had always craved to be understood. With the terrible mess his mind and self tended to be it was sometimes hard to remember what truly mattered to him.

Oswald pushed Ed forward, practically dragging him towards the living room and the couch so many painful and beautiful memories were attached to.  
He pulled Ed down next to him and waited for him to start talking, his entire focus devoted to Ed.  
Ed felt his throat constrict as he realised this complete and utter attention on himself had been solely reserved to Oswald his entire life.  
In his childhood home, in college, in his job at the GCPD, even when he had threatened to kill a hundret cadets and Gotham's elite, not even then had anyone truly cared about him. He had been dismissed, laughed at and not even truly feared.  
The only person that truly appreciated and respected him for who he was was Oswald. Had always been Oswald.  
He was the only one who gave Ed what he had been craving since the day he had won at that contest and been hit for it.

Ed smiled and blinked around the wetness forming in the corners of his eyes. No need to worry Oswald further than he already was.  
"I'm alright, Oswald. Everything is fine." He meant it. He hadn't felt this alright in months, not since that failed attempt at dinner with Oswald.

Oswald opened his mouth to say something, but before he could, a sharp knock on the door interrupted him.

At Oswald's questioning look Ed shrugged and walked over to the door.  
An odd kind of dread started building in his guts, as if he already knew who would be waiting outside.

Just a second later, Ed was met with the bright and sharp grin of Barbara Kean.

She rushed right past him, ignoring the way he was gaping at her and sat down on Oswald's side, right where Ed had sat just moments ago.  
"Ozzie! I'm  _so_ glad you're alright, I haven't seen you in _ages_!"

She pulled him against her chest in a bone-crushing hug. Once again she ignored any protests.  
"I called Eddie over and over again to ask him how you are, but he wouldn't pick up! But I guess that has to be expected from him." She sent Ed a wink over Oswald's shoulder.

When she finally softened her tight grip on Oswald's back and neck he pushed her away, straightening his suit and tie. Even in his own home he would still wear them. Ed was glad some things never changed.  
"Who are you?"

Barbara lightly hit her forehead with her palm as if to chastise herself for her mistake.  
"Oh, silly me. I forgot you forgot." She giggled for a second but quickly sobered up again as she spread her arms as if she was presenting something. In a way, she was.  
"Barbara Kean. Ex-art gallery owner, Ex-member of the GCPD's most wanted, now proud owner of the most popular club in the city."

Oswald raised his eyebrow and sent a quick glance to Ed. Barbara continued without letting either of the two speak.  
"When I heard about your... _accident_ , I assumed the worst! I would hate to lose my oldest friend like _that_."

Ed reached out to Barbara's arm and pulled her up from the couch.  
"Can I talk to you for a second?" He sighed when she smiled and made no move to follow him. "Alone."

In the safety of the kitchen, Ed tightened his grip on Barbaras arm. If it hurt, Barbara didn't let it show.  
"What do you want, Barbara?"  
She covered her chest with her hand and mimicked an affronted gasp. "You don't trust me?" "No." Ed's answer came without hesitation.  
Barbara winked. "Smart man."  
"Why the hell are you here? I told you to keep out of this!"  
Barbara huffed out a laugh and rolled her eyes. "Relax, Eddie. I'm just here to check up on you, see if you're still up to the plan. Oh, and to make sure my _dear friend_ Oswald is alright."  
She blinked innocently before bursting out into a fit of giggles she tried to stiffle with her hand.

"If you do anything to harm him-" "Don't worry, I'm not gonna harm your little birdie. You made it quite clear you want to be the one to kill him and I totally respect that. Just... Can you please get on with it already?"  
Ed blinked and his grip on Barbaras arm loosened.  
"It's been weeks. Almost a month since you apparently found out he's still alive. Did you forget you wanted him dead or did you just decide not to do it at all?"  
Ed grit his teeth. "Of course I still want to." He was almost proud of himself for not letting his lie show.

Barbara pulled her arm free, apparently satisfied with his answer.  
"Well then. Let's have a chat with the sweet amnesiatic bird on your couch. Oh, and Ed." She turned fully to him, fixing him with a glare.  
"I hope you're not thinking about telling him what I did. You don't want him to find out his closest friend is trying to kill him before he gets to it, do you?"  
She winked and left Ed behind as she re-entered the living room again.

Ed grit his teeth, his mind racing.  
He couldn't risk telling Oswald Barbara was an enemy. She would tell Oswald all about what he did, and the thought of Oswald mistrusting him triggered a terribly cold feeling in his stomach.  
He couldn't just knock her out with his complete lack of physical training, she would fight back, possibly injure him and definitely tell Oswald everything Ed desperately wanted to keep from him.  
Convincing Oswald he had given up on his plans after living with him at the mansion once again once she told him wouldn't do any good. Oswald would never believe it. How could he.

There was only one option left. He had to confirm her stories and hope Oswald didn't believe him. The way Barbara talked and laughed was suspicious enough. She spilled poison wherever she went, Oswald had to pick up on that somehow.

Hearing Barbara's laughter in the bordering room let rage boil inside Ed. She would pay for making Ed lie for her. He deeply regretted ever agreeing to work with her, but there was no turning back now.

Ed's footsteps sounded deep and hollow to his own ears as he finally made himself walk over to the two criminals on the couch.

Barbara turned to Ed and beckoned him over as her other hand caressed the expensive material of Oswald's suit.  
"Come on Eddie, don't be shy. Sit with us!" She reached across Oswald's lap to pat the space on his other side.  
Ed gingerly sat down, careful not to brush his knees against his friend's.

"I was just telling Ozzie about how _great_ it is to see my two best friends happy and safe together."  
Oswald coughed and tried to find the right words. "Barbara, friend, I hope you know it's a little hard to trust what you're saying. Afterall, I don't remember knowing you and to think that one of me supposedly best friends hasn't contacted me in these past weeks is a frankly a little hard to believe."  
Barbara just grinned what may have tried to be a reassuring smile but came across as more of a cheshire cat grin. "I don't mind at all. I know it's hard to believe a virtual stranger. Why don't you ask Ed? You live with him, I'm sure you believe his word."

Oswald turned away from her and towards Ed, doubt written all across his face.  
Ed took a deep breath, steeling himself for the question he knew would come.

"Is she telling the truth? Is she my friend?"

Oswald's careful and trusting expression vastly contrasted Barbara's own, a threatening grimace.  
Ed looked between them back and forth, neither blinking nor breathing.  
This was it. He would have to lie to Oswald, his only and best friend. His present and future as Oswald's friend and partner relied on his lie, and that with his almost complete inability to do so.

Mustering all the courage and honesty he could bring up Ed focussed on Oswald, who was beginning to grow impatient.

"...Yes. She is your friend."

_Don't believe me don't believe me don't believe me don't believe me don't believe me don't believe me don't believe me_

"Alright."

_Shit._

\------

Oswald felt his eyebrows travel almost up to his hairline at Ed's confirmation.  
This woman, with her shark-like grin and her dagger-like glare was supposed to be his friend?

The moment she had entered the building Oswald had known something was off. She was too nice. Too sweet.  
Not in the way Ivy was, though. Ivy's whole being radiated a childish compassion and care, at least towards him. She had let his head rest in her lap when he had seen his mother's grave, she still stayed with him despite the way he had treated her.  
Barbara didn't strike him as such a person. Her sweet demeanour appeared less like honest concern and more like sugar coated animosity.  
She regarded him with looks that she might have wanted to seem friendly, but that felt like the cold hard stare of a predator, ready to rip him to shreds should he show a single weakness.

Normally, that wouldn't bother him.  
In his line of work, even just as Fish's umbrella boy, he had met a lot of people like her; People that used others as a means to an end without bothering to even know the names of the people whose life they destroyed. Hell, Oswald was one of them.  
It was the way Miss Kean tried to cover all that up, hide it behind declarations of friendship and sweet words, that had Oswald itching to ram the pen on the table across him into her throat in self defense, or to send her outside to never return at the very least.

But then again, Ed had confirmed her story.

Oswald knew it was a foolish thing to do, but he trusted Ed.  
Without knowing their full history, without even remembering their friendship before he had woken up in his room in the mansion, he had begun to care for Ed like he only did for very few people in his life, namingly his mother. Maybe Ivy as well.

The moment Ed confirmed Barbara's story, Oswald was tempted to accuse him of lying and demand to be told the truth. He was tempted to call over Ivy and give both of them a dose of her magical truth perfume to find out the real truth. It didn't even cross his mind that Ivy was currently meeting her friend in the city.

But then Ed's words fully settled in. Oswald could hear the desperation in Ed's voice, see the pleading look in his eyes.  
Oswald had been living with Ed for over two weeks now. Ed had murdered a man holding a gun to Oswald's head. He had helped Oswald recover from a panic attack. He had recalled their friendship to Oswald, awakening feelings in him he hadn't thought possible. He had taken an overdose of drugs and then exposed himself to Oswald by telling him the reason why he had done it. Could Ed, the man that had done all these things, really lie to him now?  
Oswald didn't remember knowing Ed for long, but he knew he trusted him.

In the end, Oswald nodded stiffly. "Alright." He turned to Barbara again before he could see the soul crushing despair on Ed's face.

Barbara squealed and pulled Oswald into her chest again.

-

She left only half an hour later with promises of her return if Oswald should ever need her for anything.

Oswald wiped off the lipstick stains she had left on his cheek with a napkin and waited before he could hear the door fall shut loudly before sending a questioning look in Ed's direction.

"Anything you want to tell me?" Ed's eyes widened and he swallowed hard. The corners of his mouth twitched as if he was trying to smile reassuringly.  
"What do you mean?"

Oswald barely supressed rolling his eyes. "Barbara Kean? Really?"  
Ed shrugged. "You liked her. I think she reminded you of yourself."  
Oswald raised his eyebrow. "Liked?" He could practically see Ed trying to take back what he had said.  
"Like! You like her!"

His whole demeanour had shifted during her stay. Before Barbara had arrived, he had radiated confidence, even through his insecurities. He had let his defense down with Oswald. Now he was jittery, nervous and he kept fiddling with his sleeve.  
Oswald knew something was wrong. Ed was keeping something from him, but in the short time he had gotten to know him again, he had learned that he couldn't force Ed to say anything. Of course there was a way to make him talk, there always was, but Oswald considered Ed his friend. Friends don't torture each other for information.

Oswald sighed and placed his hand over Ed's in a reassuring manner. "Ed, I can tell something is wrong. There's something you're not telling me. I consider you a friend and I trust you but please tell me what is going on." He tried to catch Ed's eye, but Ed only stared at their, once again, intertwined hands. His lips twisted into what Oswald wanted to believe was a fond smile, but soon his expression was completely serious and nervous again.

"I.." He seemed to struggle finding the right words. "Oswald, I-"

"Pengy! I'm back!" Ivy threw the doors of the mansion open loudly to announce her arrival. Only seconds later she burst into the room and threw herself onto Oswald in a ferocious hug.

She didn't wait for him to hug her back but immediately stood back up again and started babbling about her meeting with Selina.  
"It was so much fun! Selina is teaching me acrobatics and I'm really bad at it but Selina said I'm a pretty quick learner so that's great! She seemed sad today, maybe she broke up with Billionaire Boy? Oh, whatever, she wouldn't tell me anyway if I asked."

Oswald almost didn't notice Ed disappear through the door Ivy had just come from.

\------

Ed lightly hit his forehead with the flat of his hand. How stupid could he be??  
Now the only person in Gotham that could be a real threat to him and Oswald knew he was still alive AND was believed to be his friend.  
All because Ed was too stupid to tell Oswald the truth.

Deep in thought, Ed didn't see Fries until he had already passed him.  
He looked down at the hand holding his arm in an almost painfully hard grip and glared at its' owner.

"What do you want, Fries?"  
He didn't actually expect an answer. Fries barely ever talked with him, and if he did it was mostly ice puns. Whether the guy actually noticed or not, Ed wasn't sure.  
"I see the way you act around Oswald."

Ed frowned. What was that supposed to mean?  
"What is that supposed to mean?"  
Fries actually had the audacity to roll his eyes. "Don't play dumb. You stare at him for far longer than any of us do, even Ivy, you always smile when he enters a room and you are way less insulting when he is around."  
Ed blinked. Did he really do that? Now that Fries mentioned it, it did seem like it.

He shook his head. "So what? I fail to see how it's your business how I act around my friends."  
Fries sighed. "Don't pretend this isn't what you know it is. Tell Oswald the truth about your feelings. He's not stupid, he'll realise sooner or later, but trust me, he wants to hear it from you."

Ed blinked once. Twice. What was Fries trying to say? What feelings?  
Ed's eyes widened as an idea popped up in his head. What if Fries knew about his ex-plan? He had to tell Ivy a fragment of it, but had she told Fries? Was Fries trying to threaten him?

Ed collected himself. He couldn't let his suspicions show.  
"Why exactly are you telling me this?"  
The corner of Fries' mouth twitched, as if he was trying to smile. "I know how terrible it is to lose someone. I don't want that to happen to Oswald."

He let go of Ed's arm and left in the direction Ed had come from.  
For a minute, Ed just stood there, a hand on his doorhandle.  
Then, he shook his head and entered. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter title is referring to Barbara. I'm not 100% sure if it's a term that is actually used in english speaking countries but I thought it works
> 
> Please let me know what you think! Reading comments always makes my day and they're really helpful.


	10. The Abyss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uuuugh writing took forever this time  
> I'm actually pretty proud of this chapter though, I hope you like it :D

Oswald stood before the abyss. Dark water, polluted with waste and dead bodies was twisting and turning below him, trying to coax him into joining it in its' ice cold hell.

Behind him, the click of a gun.   
"You won't change"  
The voice only barely reached him, obscured by the wind and rain.

The rain. Hailing down from the sky, cold and unforgiving, drenching him before the river could even touch him.

He could feel the tight pull of ropes around his torso, rendering him almost unable to breath. Or was that just his devastation? Oswald didn't know.

"I could have been happy." A sharp sting on Oswald's cheek spreading down into his chest where it turned into unbearable pain.

The pavement underneath Oswald's ruined shoes split open under the acid that was raining from the sky.

The sound of a fired gun cut through the silence like a knife through a heart.

"I"  
A searing hot pain consumed Oswald's entire being.  
"Don't"  
Blood flooded out of him, painting the ground and his own hands dark red.  
"Love"  
His heart was torn apart, ripped out of him, leaving only fragments on the ground behind.  
"You."

A hand reached out for him, like a tiny, flickering candle in the all-consuming darkness. For a second a tiny part of him wanted to hope, to hold on to that hand and never let go again.

But then Oswald fell. The corpses in the water reached out to him, grabbing at every part of him they could reach. Their cold, wet hands tore him apart.

Oswald couldn't scream, couldn't even cry. The water flooded through him, freezing him from the inside.

The darkness finally consumed him as Oswald was making a last effort to reach out, somehow reach that hand again. Repair what he had lost.  
It was all for nothing.

-

Oswald startled awake with a strangled cry.   
He frantically patted the space around him, terrified he might still be dreaming.   
He sighed relievedly when he felt the soft sheets of his bed between his fingers.

What a terrible nightmare. It had felt way too real. The cold water, the blood dripping through his fingers... But it was just a dream.

Oswald winced as a sharp pain in his head momentarily blinded him. It was gone an instant later, but the impression it had left was lasting.

What had Bridgit said the first time they had had tea together? "The headaches come with the memories"?  
What if... what if that hadn't been just a dream? What if it was another memory, just like with his mother?

Oswald frantically patted his stomach, trying to open his shirt. After a few nervous failed attempts to unbutton it, Oswald's stomach finally laid bare.   
The healed bullet wound he had wondered about so often was still there. White, jagged and badly sewn shut.   
His fingers traced the uneven surface and it almost felt like he really was at the docks again.

No no no. It was a dream. It had to be. There was no way that could have been true.   
In his dream he had been drowning and bleeding out. How could anyone survive that?   
But just as he thought that, another memory of a more recent event pushed itself to the forefront of his mind.

Ivy, in front of his old club, just before he had left to visit his mother. "I saved you a while back when... when you were shot." That coupled with her story about his and Ed's fight before he and Ivy met and Ed's story about their fight that had apparently "escalated" painted a clear picture.

Oswald violently shook his head.   
Ed wouldn't do this. The Ed Oswald had gotten to know over the past weeks would never do the things he had felt and seen him do in his dream.  
He wouldn't.

Oswald ignored all the alarm signals in his head as he pulled his robe around himself and left his room.   
He would find out the truth, even if that meant waking up the man he loved at 2am.

He gently pushed at the door to Ed's room. No need to wake up the rest of the family too. Ed would just explain, everything would turn out fine, and they could all go to bed again. Oswald clung to his hope like a life-line. He knew he couldn't bear to find out he was wrong.  
Tip-toeing wasn't an option, due to his bad leg, but Oswald shuffled over to Ed's bed as quietly as possible.   
He tried to grab Ed's shoulder and simply shake him awake, but his hand only met empty air and soft bedsheets.

Confused, Oswald turned on the light.   
Ed's bed was empty.   
After years of working in the mob, Oswald's first thought was that Ed might have been abducted. He inspected the area around the bed, but there was nothing that would indicate a fight. Everything was in perfect order, like it always was.

Suddenly, soft sounds reached Oswald's ear.   
He hobbled back to the door and listened closly.   
It was talking. Oswald would recognise that voice anywhere. Ed was calling someone in the middle of the night.

Oswald quietly hobbled down the stairs, to the living room, where he could see Ed stand with his back turned to him, clearly upset with whoever was calling him.

\------

Ed pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. It was bad enough his phone had woken him up at 2am, but did it have to be that one handed ape of all people??

"Listen Nygma, I know your brain is messed up but even you should understand that once Penguin remembers he won't hesitate to kill us all."   
Ed rolled his eyes. "Yes, yes I know."  
"And I hope you also know that I will not wait until he comes barging in here with guns and men and kill me and Tabitha."  
"I'm afraid you will have to. This is my.." Ed grit his teeth "...revenge, and just because you can't-" "Shut up Nygma! This isn't about me! This is about you, and the fact that Tabitha will die if you wait!"   
"She won't. Calm down before you hurt yourself."  
"I will not calm down! I will not let you endanger the last good thing in my life because... I don't even care why! Just because you need some flashy reveal before you kill someone doesn't mean I do."

"You illiterate moron, don't pretend you understand what I have to do." It physically pained Ed to say the words. 

"Penguin killed _my_ girlfriend. Which means, idiot, that it's _my_ duty to kill him."

"Ed? What.."

Ed turned on his heel, cold fear spreading in his body.

"Oswald.."

He was close to tears. Ed knew him like no one else did. He knew when Oswald was devastated.   
But what hit him, what made him feel like all air and light was sucked out of him, was the fury he could see in Oswald's face.

"I hope you have a really good explanation for this, _friend_ , or I will take Ivy up on her promise to torture you."  
His voice was wavering. Ed knew a chance when he saw one, and he took it.

"You.. you don't understand, Oswald. That was just-" "What? A call with your co-conspirators? How many are you? How long have you been trying to kill me? ANSWER ME!"

Ed winced. His throat felt too tight.   
"No Oswald, I-" Oswald didn't wait for him to finish. "Why? What did I do that you want to kill me so much??"  
"I don't-" "Don't lie to me Ed."  
Oswald visibly swallowed. It looked like he needed to collect himself for what he was about to say. But why?

"You tried to kill me before, haven't you. At the docks."  
A tiny gasp left Ed's throat. "You remember?"

"How long have you been lying to me?? All this time I thought... We were friends. But you really were out to kill me all this time, weren't you."

Hot, boiling rage settled in Ed's core. Before he could stop himself, his mouth already opened and all the pent up anger he had suppressed for months, burried underneath so much grief, burst out of him and he couldn't stop it.

"Like you're the one to talk about trust. You killed someone important to me and lied to my face about it! What was I supposed to do, just let you get away with it?? You broke my trust and my heart, just like everyone else I ever cared about! Don't pretend you wouldn't have done the same thing if our situations were reversed. A life for a life, remember?"

The look on Oswald's face was finally enough to stop Ed. He recognised that look.   
"You really hate me, don't you." It wasn't a question. All the force in Oswald's voice was gone. His eyes were red and his lip was quivering.  
He looked just like he did when Ed had strapped him to Isabella's car. Another memory that had once filled him with satisfaction now only added to the terrible feeling in Ed's chest.

Something in Ed's chest shattered. He couldn't breathe. An agonising, gut-wrenching pain shot through his heart.   
"No! Nonono Oswald, I...."  
He swallowed thickly and tried to blink the tears forming in his eyes away.

"I could never hurt you. I need you, Oswald!" His own voice sounded alien to Ed.

\------

Oswald closed his eyes. Those words, the words he had longed to hear for so long, those words now felt like daggers in his heart, twisting and turning inside him, making him bleed.

He wanted to cry, he needed it, but he couldn't show any weakness before an enemy.   
That's what Ed really was. An enemy.   
Not his friend. Not the man he loved.   
Just another enemy out to kill him.

Then why did Oswald's chest feel like it was about to explode? Why did he want to hit Ed and cry into his suit and beg him not to leave?

"Do you really think I could believe a single word you say?"  
Oswald turned on his heel and left the room, left Ed behind, the phone still in his hand.

Uncaring he was still only in his sleepwear, Oswald threw open the main doors of the mansion and walked out.

The night sky was lit up beautifully. There were no clouds to obstruct the stars or the moon. If Oswald would spare even a second to look up, he would have seen the beautiful night sky his mother always told him about, the one she remembered from her childhood out of the big city.

The weather stood in stark contrast to the storm raging inside Oswald.   
Now that he was outside and no one could see him break down, he finally let the tears spill. Violent sobs shook Oswald's whole body as he stumbled through the garden towards one of the cars in the driveway.   
He should have known. The whole time, Ivy had warned him of Ed. She had tried to protect him time and time again. She had known something was wrong. Hell, his own mind had told him something was wrong. Why hadn't he listened??

Oswald suppressed wallowing in self-pity in favour of getting into the car and starting it.   
A part of him knew what he was doing wasn't the smart thing to do, that he should talk to Ivy and the rest of his family about what to do with Ed.   
But he couldn't. Not now.   
For now he just needed to get away. Away from all those memories he had with Ed, new and old.

Concentrating on the road ahead, Oswald tried to expell all those thoughts from his mind as he tried to make his mind up about where to go. His first instinct was to visit his mother, but he quickly dismissed the idea. It wouldn't do to push aside painful memories by going through more painful memories.   
Where else could he go? The only other person he could think of was Barbara Kean. She had seemed to like him.. No. That would be beyond stupid. He had mistrusted her the second he first saw her and that hadn't changed.

Before Oswald could decide on anything, his car suddenly went off the road.  
Oswald stared in horror at the street seemingly above his head as the car turned over.  
His head hit the dashboard and a sharp pain split his forehead. A hot trail of blood slid down into his eye, mixing with new and old tears.

Oswald couldn't hear anything. It was like his ears could only pick up static.   
He groaned and turned his head a tiny fraction before the pain in his head could pull him into unconsciousness.

The last thing he saw were the silhouettes of three people. One of them was blond and had an unmistakable cheshire cat grin.

_Speak of the devil_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love writing scenes like this


	11. The calm before the storm

Ed paced through the room. The phone was utterly forgotten, laying on the ground exactly where Ed had dropped it. It didn't take long for the other residents of the mansion to arrive since they had woken up to Oswald's shouts.

"Nygma!!" Ivy's fist hit Ed's face before he had even fully realised she was there.  
He squeezed his eyes shut, expecting more punches to follow, but none came.

Instead, he felt a huge hand grab the front of his shirt and lift him up. Ed barely supressed an embarassing squeal and held on to the hand out of fear of being dropped.  
He stared down at an uncharacteristically expressive Victor Fries, next to him a furious Bridgit and Ivy, who looked like she was about to tear him apart.

Ed's first instinct was to calm them down to protect himself.  
"I can explain-", he began, but Bridgit cut him off. "Explain what, huh? That you betrayed our friend, _again_? That you lied to him and us for weeks to the point where we started to like you?? And all that just to betray us all again?"  
She was seething with rage. Ed couldn't blame her.

"That's not true, I wouldn't do that!" It was almost comical how all their expressions changed into a perfect display of _yeah, right_. Maybe Ed would have laughed if everything he cared about wasn't in danger.  
"Listen to me! I wasn't tricking you! Well, maybe at the beginning, but not anymore!"

Victor turned to Ivy. Ed couldn't see his face. Without saying another word, Ivy turned on her heel and left the room.  
Ed was about to ask where she was going, when suddenly Victor let go of him.

With a loud yelp, Ed landed on his butt. Victor didn't give him much time to stand up but grabbed him again and threw him on the couch instead.  
"Ouch! A little more careful please."  
Bridgit's face was enough to stop any more remarks from leaving Ed, sarcastic or otherwise.

Shortly after, Ivy returned, a small vial in her hand. Ed tensed up the moment he realised what it was.

Ivy smiled bitterly and dabbed the perfume on her wrist. She then proceeded in shoving it in Ed's face, almost hitting his nose in the process.  
He tried to hold his breath as long as possible, but she only grabbed his neck and held him in place. Sooner or later he would have to take a breath, and she knew it.

Ed gasped for air after only a minute. He heard Bridgit snort from across the room, but the sound and the embarassment he felt was immediately drowned in the effect of the perfume.  
It felt like Ed was underwater. He could breathe just fine, but everything looked slightly blurred and weirdly coloured. The room around him had an intangible feeling about it and Ed stared around him in wonder as he took in how beautiful everything looked. So pretty and calm. Like nothing could hurt him.

"Nygma? Can you hear me?"  
Ivy's voice was the only clearly audible thing in the world. Ed could see Bridgit whisper something to Victor, but he couldn't hear anything they said.

He nodded in answer to Ivy's question. She seemed satisfied.  
"Who were you calling?"  
"Butch Gilzean." The name slipped out of Ed without any resistance. Why should he lie? He felt so safe.  
"What did you talk about?"  
"He wanted me to kill Oswald now or he would do it because he was scared for Tabitha. I told him killing Oswald is part of my revenge."

Ivy took in a sharp breath. Even through the effect of the perfume Ed could tell she was absolutely furious.  
"Tell us what you mean by 'you aren't tricking us anymore'".  
Ed smiled. "At the beginning I just wanted to stay close to Oswald and make sure he remembers soon so I could kill him. I thought I needed to kill Oswald for what he did to Isabella and that if I didn't do it I would lose myself again. I told myself he needed to remember first because it was supposed to be about revenge but that wasn't true."  
Ivy rolled her eyes. "Yeah no shit."

Ed ignored her and continued. "I lied to myself because I couldn't let go. I was just trying to hold on to him a little bit longer. He apologised and I would never hurt him again. He means too much to me."  
The other three exchanged a look. "You gave up on killing him because he _apologised_? What are you, twelve?" Ed shook his head. "I'm twenty-nine."

Bridgit groaned and said something Ed couldn't understand. A second later Ivy turned back to him. "If you don't want to kill him, then why are you still here?"  
Ed hesitated, unsure what to say. "I.... he's important to me. He's the only one that really matters. He's the best friend I ever had and.."

Finally, everything slid into place.  
Ed finally understood why he had acted the way he had. Why he had been so disappointed back on that couch, why his carefully constructed personality had shattered once again when he had shot Oswald, why he was so devoted to doing everything concerning him the right way.  
In his role as his student, as his friend and even as his enemy. With Oswald, he could never go just half of the way.  
He finally knew why he would still do anything for Oswald, even after all that had happened.  
_Love is about sacrifice_.  
He loved him.  
Simple as that.

\------

Once again, Oswald stared in the face of Barbara Kean. She wasn't alone this time.  
On her left, there was a woman that seemed somewhat familiar to Oswald but he couldn't tell how.  
And on her right, the uncomfortably familiar face of Butch Gilzean greeted him. Oswald hadn't forgotten how badly that man had treated him along with all the other lowlife thugs that had worked for Fish. He hoped the unfamiliar triangular scar on his forehead had hurt.

"So, how is it? You contacted me, pretended to be my friend and now you want to kill me? Why?"  
Barbara shrugged. "Oh, you know how things are here. Wait, you don't." She started giggling and only stopped after her friend? girlfriend? shot her an annoyed look.  
"We're killing you because you're a danger to our success. Who knows, maybe you'll try to take over my kingdom again."

Oswald smiled bitterly. He should have known Barbara was no good. He had been able to tell that the moment she had interrupted his talk with Ed, and yet he still felt betrayed by her.

He turned to Butch. "And you? You're working for this wannabe queen now?"  
Butch exchanged a look with the woman Oswald still didn't know the name of. Neither of them said anything.  
Oswald heaved out a dry laugh. "I see."  
Barbara's irritation was palpable. She fixed both her partners with an angry look and hit Oswald's face with the back of her hand, her perfectly manicured fingernails leaving angry red stripes. "Shut up!"

Oswald waited for the next strike, or a gunshot, or a knife at his throat, but it never came. The three still stood directly in front of him, each of them a varying range of anger on their faces, but none of them made a move to kill him.

"If you want to kill me can you hurry up already?" Oswald was tired. The day had been long and riddled with betrayal. At this point Oswald would just take what he could get, and if that was a bullet to the head, that was fine by him.  
Barbara sighed and rolled her eyes. "I'd love to, honey, but sadly we promised to leave that honour to someone else."  
Butch turned to Barbara. "Are you kidding me?? After endangering all of us for weeks??"  
She didn't grace his objections with much more than a roll of her eyes. "Come on, Butch, you know how annoying he gets if he doesn't get what he wants." "Yeah, no shit."

Oswald took a deep breath. He still had time. He could try to find a way out of this. No need to give up now.

\------

The phone started ringing just as the perfume started to wear off.

"Hello?"  
"Get to the club now. We have Penguin. Barbara seems to think she has to honour a deal with someone like you, so get your ass in here and get on with the plan already."  
Butch hung up before Ed could reply.

"Who was it? What did they say?"

"I have to go, they have Oswald, I-" "Do you really think we'll let you go alone? Oswald is our family as well, you know."  
Ed groaned, exasperated. "They don't trust you. They think I'm on their side, or they just want to bait me. I can't afford to take you with me, if I'm alone I have at least a tiny chance to save him."  
"You do realise we are three more or less superpowered freaks offering to help you, right? You honestly believe we couldn't beat those three idiots and maybe some goons?"  
Ed didn't know what to say. If he took the three with him and they were harmed, Oswald would rip his head off for it, directly after doing the same for his betrayal. But then again, if he didn't let them help, he and Oswald might both die.

He hesitated, weighing his options, but not for long. There were more important things at stake than a petty argument he knew he would lose. Oswald's life was more important.  
"Alright, I'll let you help, but you won't just storm in there and endanger Oswald."  
Ivy nodded eagerly. Her two friends still seemed a little sceptical, but neither of them objected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uuuuuuugh this took forever  
> On the bright side I finally have some motivation and time again, so I hope the last two chapters won't take too long.  
> Hope you liked this mini-chapter until the next one! (the next one is longer)


	12. Yey a hostage situation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look I actually update again!! :D Only 8 days after the last update!!!  
> The chapter titles get less serious and subtle and more obvious and cringy the longer the story goes. Sorry.  
> Hope you enjoy the chapter though ^^

Almost one hour later and a rusty nail from the chair richer, Oswald still wasn't free. He was starting to get nervous now. A nail wasn't the perfect tool to cut a rope with, but it would have to do the job.  
The problem was the fact that it didn't do it fast enough.

Oswald was frantically rubbing the nail against the rope with his uncomfortably bound hands while Barbara was pacing around the room and her two lapdogs were twitching at the hilt of their weapons.  
What he would do once he could move his arms, Oswald wasn't sure. He might be able to lure one of them towards himself and stab them with the nail, but then one of the others would instantly kill him. Taking one of them hostage might do the trick though.

He should not pick Barbara for his plan. He had seen that pretty soon. Neither of her so called friends seemed to hate her, but they did seem to harbour a very strong distaste for her antics, as well as her incredibly bossy behaviour. Maybe they would agree to let him go if he threatened her, but it was too risky.  
And trying to threaten Butch would simply be useless. He knew him. Butch would rather die than betray his boss, not to mention his sheer strengh. He would break Oswald's arm the second he felt the nail at his neck and Oswald would have no chance to stop him.

Well then. In that case, he would have to take the second woman in the room hostage. Not only was Barbara obviously smitten with her, Butch was ridiculously in love with her. Not only did he glance in her direction every few seconds, Oswald also knew his type. She did bear quite the likeness to Fish Mooney, both in appereance and demeanour. Though, that much Oswald had to admit, Fish Mooney would never act as a lapdog to someone like Barbara and she would certainly never let someone else dictate what she did and who she killed. Fish Mooney had been above using senseless violence to reach her goals. Oswald respected that. He did not, however, respect obnoxiously brutal lapdogs that saw themselves as too high and mighty. She and Butch were just perfect for each other in that regard.  
Neither of the two would just let her die. They might just decide to kill him instantly, but that was just the risk he had to take.  
What he would do after he got his freedom, Oswald wasn't sure. He would think about that once he got that far. Flexibility and the ability to adapt to a situation had always been his greatest asset.

Finally, after almost an hour of furiously yet somehow discreetly rubbing a rusty nail against the ropes binding him, Oswald's left arm was finally free.  
He suppressed a sigh of relief, lest one of his three captors notice it, and started to work on his other arm. It was much easier now that he could move one of his arms almost freely.

Oswald didn't have to wait long for a suitable opportunity to present itself.  
"What's taking him so long? He should have been here an hour ago!" "Well, maybe if you would just kill Penguin now instead of waiting for that clown we wouldn't have this problem!"  
While Barbara and Butch were bickering about some irrelevant topic Oswald didn't bother listen to, their friend rolled her eyes. Oswald leaned as far forward as the rope on his still bound right arm and the guise of being bound with two arms allowed.

"Hey. You." The woman turned towards him, raising her eyebrow. "What's your name?" Her expression didn't change one bit as she replied. "I'm Tabitha. I kinda expected you'd know who I am. I was the one that killed your precious mother after all."  
Hot rage flared up inside Oswald and he knew she could see it. Breathing slowly and deliberately, Oswald calmed himself and continued to cut through the rope on his right arm. He had time to take revenge later, for now he just needed to escape. He couldn't let himself get carried away now.

Oswald forced a tight-lipped smile. "I guess you're just not that memorable then."  
That seemed to strike a nerve. Oswald's smile instantly became more genuine and gleeful. "Not that it's anything new for you, of course. How many people in this city know your name, what do you think? I'll give you a hint: It's far less than me or either of your little buddies over there. You're a handy tool more successful people than you use, nothing more."  
Tabitha smiled, but it didn't even get close to reaching her eyes.  
"You think you're so smart, don't you? Riling me up, trying to make me angry.. I know what you're doing. And it's not working." Oswald grinned. "Isn't it?"  
Tabitha came a step closer. "You remind me of Nygma, you know? Always so sure of yourself, both of you. You know what else you have in common? You're both about to die and there's nothing you could do to change that. You're just a sad, miserable, weak little man trying to talk himself out of the inevitable. Face it, Penguin. You lost. We won."

While Tabitha was taunting him, she kept coming closer until she was leaning on the armrests of the chair Oswald was bound to.  
Finally, the other rope came loose. Both of Oswald's hands were free and ready to strike.  
He grinned triumphantly.  
"I wouldn't be so sure about that."

Oswald was ready to strike, to hold his weapon to Tabitha's throat and force Barbara and Butch to let him go.  
The nail laid secure in his hand, not the ideal weapon but it would do.

His arms started to move and he was almost there, when suddenly the main door of the club swang open.

In the entrance stood the man Oswald had been so desperate to avoid he got himself captured. What an idiot he was.  
He cursed under his breath. Barbara and Butch might fall for his trick, but Ed never would. He would have no problem with shooting Oswald as soon as he showed resistance, Oswald was sure of it. It wasn't like he particularly cared for Tabitha as far as Oswald knew.

"Ugh, finally. Took you long enough." Barbara stood with her hands on her hips, clearly annoyed. Ed took off the ridiculous hat he had been wearing when Oswald had first woken up in the mansion after his memory loss and bowed deeply and extravangantly before he laid it back on his head in a dramatic way. The flamboyant gesture felt odd on Ed, unfamiliar, but somehow it fit him perfectly.  
Ed grinned at Barbara. "Oh no, I'm so sorry. I had some loose ends to tie up first." He winked, and had Oswald not known Ed was trying to kill him he would have thought it was directed at him.

"I should have known you were working with these morons, Ed", Oswald snarled. His grief about Ed's newest betrayal was momentarily overshadowed by rage. How dare Ed pretend to be his friend for this long while he was secretly working with powerhungry maniacs like Barbara Kean?? Granted, Oswald hadn't realized she was an enemy either, but technically that too had been Ed's fault.

Ed answered Oswald's rage with nothing more than a glance in his direction before he sauntered over to his chair.  
"You should have, but you didn't. Now what does that tell you?" He grinned, but unlike Oswald had expected, his grin wasn't cold, calculating or even triumphant. His eyes had a mischievous glint in them and his whole demeanour radiated an odd, confident tension instead of the glee Oswald was so sure he would see.  
_Maybe he knows I'm still a valid enemy, even in this chair_ , Oswald thought. Ed didn't seem like a man finally getting his revenge so much as a man that was having the time of his life. Not that the two necessarily contradicted each other.  
_When was the last time you saw him this way?_ , the traitorous little voice at the back of Oswald's head said. As if Oswald could ever forget that. He vividly recalled the moment Ed had killed the young thug that had threatened to shoot Oswald all that time ago. Ed had saved his life back then. Oh how much the situation had changed, Oswald thought.

Just like Tabitha before him, Ed leaned down to Oswald's level and onto the chair's armrests.  
"You know what's about to happen, don't you?" Ed winked cheekily.  
"I do," Oswald snarled and he was just about to bring his now free arms to Ed's neck and snap it, his plan and the fact that even the image of killing Ed was unbearable be damned, but then Ed tapped the armrest with his finger and carefully moved his left arm until a tiny piece of metal became visible.  
Oswald's eyes snapped up from the small blade Ed was pushing towards him as discreetly as possible and stared at Ed in complete disbelief.  
What was the meaning of this?? Did Ed really want to help him? Or was this just his way of making Oswald's murder more of a challenge for himself??  
Try as he might, Oswald had no idea.

After the knife Oswald didn't actually need was hidden secure in his own sleeve, Ed turned around again, once again with a hypnotising flourish to it.  
"I suppose you expect me to..." Barbara rolled her eyes. Her cheerful demeanour Oswald had last seen her exhibit was completely gone. "Just kill him already, Nygma. Since you insist it has to be you who does it. He's the only thing between me and total control over the city now."  
A suspicious look took over her face and she slowly started walkig towards Ed.  
"Why is it taking you so long? Lost your nerve? Or are you just stalling for something?"

Ed gasped and covered his chest in mock offense.  
"Do you really think  _I_ of all people would do that?? Stalling to get out of a situation that I don't want to be in?"  
Barbara stood almost directly in front of him now. From where Oswald was sitting he could barely see her hand slip down her leg into the leg of her abnormally high-legged boot. "Yes. I do believe you would do that."

Oswald couldn't see Ed's face, but he could hear in his voice he was grinning.  
"I applaud you, Barbara. You're right for once."

Suddenly, all hell broke loose.  
The main door across the room flew open, as well as both doors to the sides that presumably lead to the private rooms of the club.  
Sudden screams filled the air, as well as the sound of gunshots.

Oswald used the confusion to finally break free from his confinement and hurried towards Barbara, who was furiously shouting something at her partners. Oswald didn't bother to listen, too preoccupied with what he was about to do.  
Tightly grabbing the knife Ed had given him, he grabbed Barbara's arm and pulled her towards him.

She didn't expect anything and easily lost her footing.  
Barbara yelped as she hit the floor and the gun fell out of her hand. Oswald reached her before she could grab it and straddled her so she couldn't move.

He couldn't help but grin as she snarled at him, trying to hide her fear behind fury. Oswald's surroundings vanished around him as he zeroed in on the woman that had used him, had pretended to be his friend without ever speaking the truth.

"Let me go! You little freak, do you even know who I am??", Barbara shrieked. Oswald had half a mind to cover his ears to shield them from her incredibly shrill voice but decided against it.  
Instead, his grin widened. "No, I don't. And you know what?" Oswald leaned down to whisper in her ear. "I don't need to. I don't care who you are. You used me. That's all I need to know."

Oswald sat back up and glanced at the shiny, somehow familiar switch blade in his hand.  
Only a second later Barbara's scream drowned out all other sounds in the room. It seemed like everyone stopped moving as she frantically tried to pull the knife from her side, but Oswald didn't let her. He twisted the knife, hungrily drinking up the pained whimpers of the person that had wronged him.

Someone pulled him away from his victim and before he knew what was happening, he was lying on the floor, bloody knife still in his hand.  
No one tried to stop Tabitha as she pulled Barbara out the door, nor Butch, who was running after her.

Slowly, the world around Oswald came into focus again, along with a familiar voice that was tentatively saying his name.  
"Oswald..? Are you alright?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are enough dead female characters on tv, I'm not gonna add to that.  
> One more chapter to go guys ;D  
> (there's a little more drama but also fluff)


	13. The calm after the storm

"Oswald..? Are you alright?"

Oswald nodded slowly, still disconnected from the world and caught up in adrenaline. He slowly raised his head to look at who was speaking to him and a fresh, blinding wave of fury rolled over him.

"You!", he hissed through grit teeth. His muscles suddenly started moving again as he stood up and grabbed the lapels of Ed's green suit and pushed him against the wall, the knife momentarily forgotten on the floor.  
"You lied to me for weeks, don't think I forgot! You're just as bad as Barbara, no, you're worse because you actually made me believe you, I trusted you!"  
"Oswald, I-" "Shut up!" His grip tightened until his fists were pressed against Ed's chest so hard it must have hurt.  
"Os-wal..-d" His glasses were askew. A part of Oswald wanted to gently push them up his nose so they were lying in their correct place, another wanted to slam them into Ed's head until the glass would cut into his eyes.  
Staring at Ed's pale face and his deep brown eyes that somehow, insufferably, didn't convey the hate and disdain they should, Oswald decided to do neither. He pushed Ed away so his back hit the wall and frantically reached for the knife, only for it to be pulled just out of his reach.

Oswald let out a dangerous hiss and glared at his three "friends". How dare they call themselves his friends if they didn't even let him kill this traitor?? He had lied for months, had made Oswald develop feelings for him, _again_ , and had used his trust, all for some twisted scheme, for the second time now!

"Give me the knife." Oswald spoke slowly and clearly, ignoring the way his voice was slightly wavering. It wasn't a request. It was an order. Oswald reached for the knife, expecting Ivy to give it back to him, but she didn't move.  
"I said." He took a small step forward. He barely registered the pain in his leg through his adrenaline- and fury-consumed brain. "Give. Me. The knife!"

"No!" Oswald blinked. He hadn't expected that. He took a deep breath and glared at his so called 'friend'.  
"What did you say?"  
"I won't let you kill him before you haven't heard his explanation!"  
Oswald couldn't say anything, fuming with anger. How dare she defy him now of all times? He should have known she and the others wouldn't be loyal, but of course, just when he finally had the chance to take revenge on _someone_ for wronging him, they were in the way.

Ivy would have rolled her eyes if the situation weren't so tense. "Look, Pengy, I can't stand him and you know that! I have no reason to lie! So believe me when I say he genuinely doesn't want to hurt you. He proved it!"  
Oswald didn't listen. His chest felt empty and cold.  
He grabbed Ivy's arm that was still holding the knife and ripped it from her grip, uncaring for her yelp of pain or the look of betrayal on her face.

He returned to Ed and grabbed him again, the knife resting dangerously close to Ed's pale throat. Somewhere at the back of his mind he noted how close they were, but he pushed that thought as far away as possible.  
Finally Ed was scared. Oswald could see it in his eyes. "Please, Oswald-" "Please _what_ , Ed? 'Please don't kill me'?" A dry, humorless laugh left his throat. Everything hurt, even more so now than in the moment he had found out about Ed's betrayal. He so desperately wanted to use the knife and make Ed be the one that hurt for a change, but he couldn't even scratch him.

"Please don't do this Oswald, I proved I don't want to kill you anymore! Ivy can prove it! Her perfume, I couldn't lie!" "Wow, that's convincing! The girl that just betrayed me can prove you didn't."  
Ed swallowed thickly and Oswald had to move the knife away from his throat slightly so he wouldn't cut him accidentally, immediately cursing himself for letting his weakness show.

"I gave you the knife, didn't I?", Ed said quietly. Oswald blinked, confused. That was true, but-  
"I gave it to you so you could free yourself and fight with us once the others arrived. You're so important to them they agreed to work with me. And you know none of them can stand me, especially after they found out what I did."  
Slowly and very carefully, Ed's fingertips found Oswald's hand on his throat and he smiled sadly. Oswald flinched but didn't pull away. "It's our knife, remember? The one we used the first time we killed together. I thought a symbolic gesture might help."  
Oswald didn't move, neither to kill Ed nor let him go. He cautiously watched Ed, waiting for his next move.

"Oswald, I-.." Ed breathed slowly as if he was trying to prepare himself for something.  
"I could never hurt you. Not anymore. Yes, I used your friendship to gain your trust in the beginning, but you mean too much for me to ever do that to you again. I realised that soon. You're all I have, you're the only one that really understands me and I.." He swallowed. "I love you." He finished quietly, nearly too quiet for Oswald to hear, and averted his eyes.

Oswald felt like he had been set on fire. He could feel his grip on the knife begin to loosen as his whole body felt electrified, every nerve alight, his chest the center of it all. A soothing yet terrifying warmth spread throughout his body, the same that had been present every time he had spent his time with Ed during their time together.  
He wanted to say something, felt like he had to, but no sound came out. His brain was short-circuited and not a single rational thought was left. All that was left was the warmth and an overwhelming euphoria.

"So just do it, Oswald. Kill me." Ed's voice sounded so defeated and broken it broke Oswald out of his trance.  
Oswald couldn't avert his eyes from Ed. There was still a glint of fear in his eyes but Ed's entire body practically radiated the same hope Oswald felt.  
His hand was still tightly gripped in Ed's suit. His body refused to obey Oswald's commands to let go.

The hand Oswald was holding the knife with shook violently, as did Oswald's whole body.  
"I..I.." The thought of slicing Ed's throat, the thought that had felt like well-deserved and long-due, justice just moments earlier, even if he knew he wouldn't be able to do it, suddenly became the one thing he would never do or allow to happen. The very idea of killing Ed felt wrong, no matter what Ed had done.

With a loud, clattering sound, the knife hit the floor.

Before anyone could say or do anything, let alone Ed, who was still pressed to the wall, Oswald suddenly moved forward and crashed his lips against Ed's.  
The kiss was uncoordinated and obviously unpractised, but Ed couldn't help but reciprocate.

Only second later, Oswald moved away and lowered his head, never letting go of Ed's suit or moving away from him.  
Ed blinked in confusion before his face broke out into a wide, toothy grin.  
"So... does that mean.."  
Oswald shook his head. "I don't.. know what it means." He slowly took a step back and forced himself to let go of Ed's suit. "I don't know."

Oswald was about to turn towards the rest of the mansion's residents, whether to invite them back home or cast them out forever he wasn't sure, but before he could, Ed made his move.

His hand took hold of Oswald's arm and pulled him towards himself while the other ran through Oswald's hair and firmly took hold of the back of his head.  
"But I do."  
This kiss was much more gentle and considerate than the uncoordinated frenzy Oswald had been in.  
Ed's lips gently moved against Oswald's. He reciprocated after only a single shocked moment.

Ed's tongue lightly and unintentionally brushed Oswald's, and suddenly the whole world was filled with colour.

Behind Oswald's closed eyes, a myriad of forgotten memories flew by. Pleasant and unpleasant alike, their force hit Oswald like a train.  
Memories of his time as a spy before his rise to power, memories of Fish hitting the water, of his time in power, of Arkham, of the murder of his step family, of his candidacy for mayor, of his revenge. Memories of Jim Gordon, memories of Ivy, his father, his forgiveness for Fish. And along with that came all those forgotten memories of Ed.

Their first meeting in the GCPD, when Oswald had dismissed his future friend as just another annoying police man when he had already then been everything but.  
The time when they had been roomates, when Ed had nursed Oswald's wounds, both the physical and emotional ones.  
The day Ed had turned Oswald away in his time of need.  
Their friendship as mayor and chief of staff.  
Ed had risked his life for Oswald more than once. He had almost died at Butch's hand more than once for Oswald's sake. He had promised to do everything for Oswald and had delivered.

Their whole revenge drama now seemed so nonsensical to Oswald. They had thrown all that trust, friendship and love aboard, and for what?? For silly revenge over something that could have easily been avoided had they just talked to each other.

A single tear rolled down Oswald's cheek as he deepened the kiss and his hands, that had previously been too unsure of what to do to move, took hold of Ed's shoulders.

Oswald broke their kiss and rested his head against Ed's collarbone. Their height difference was a real advantage on that front.

"I remember."  
The words came out just barely above a breath. Oswald could feel Ed's sharp intake of breath against his head.  
"You mean.. everything?"  
Oswald nodded. He knew Ed could feel it.

He raised his head to look at Ed. He needed him to believe what he was about to say.  
"I'm sorry. I was selfish and I didn't think. I know what happened is mostly my fault. I can't promise I'll never hurt you again in some way, but I can certainly try. I want to."

Ed didn't answer. All he did was stare at Oswald, like he was trying to find out whether he was saying the truth or not. Oswald couldn't blame him for his uncertainty. That was his fault after all.  
"You.. you really mean that?"  
Oswald nodded, making sure his eyes never left Ed's. "We both did terrible things but I'm willing to admit I started it, even if that wasn't my intention. And I _am_ sorry, Ed."

It didn't take long for Ed to smile again.  
"For what it's worth, I'm sorry for shooting you. And lying. And-" Oswald stopped him with a finger on his lips. He blushed furiously shortly after as he realised the pose he was in.

Ivy cooed and went to say something, but before she could, Oswald cut her off with a stern glare. "If you're about to say something about a 'true love's kiss' or something equally as ridiculous, I suggest you don't."  
Ivy pouted and crossed her arms in annoyance but it was clear she didn't mean it.

Oswald turned back towards Ed and almost stopped breathing for a second at the sight of the pure adoration in Ed's eyes. It reminded Oswald of the way Ed had looked at him that night on the couch, only this time it was ten times more intense. Or maybe this time Oswald was just more aware of it. He didn't know.

Ivy broke the pleasant silence once again."Can we please get back to the mansion now? Tabitha and Butch are probably angry you almost killed Barbara and they still have most of the underworld on their side. Guys, I'm supposed to be the young and dumb one, since when am I the voice of reason here??"  
Oswald nodded, but made no move to let go of Ed. Now that he could finally hold him, letting go felt impossible.

Ivy rolled her eyes and pulled Bridgit and Victor towards the door. "Catch up with us when you're done, alright? If I have to see you two lovebirds kiss one more time I'll vomit."

Once they were gone, Oswald turned to Ed again and smiled softly.  
"Sorry about that. She's probably just not that keen on seeing her 'brother' kiss. I can't even blame her."  
The amused twinkle in Ed's eyes made Oswald's heart clench with pure, unadulterated happiness.

"So. What do we do now?"  
Oswald shrugged. "I guess we'll go back to the mansion and prepare for Tabitha's revenge. I doubt she'll give it up the same way we did."  
Ed broke out in laughter and Oswald couldn't help but smile. He could watch Ed laugh forever.  
"I doubt that very much. But." Ed pulled Oswald towards himself and grinned mischievously. "I think we should celebrate first. I'm sure the other three can handle the mansion on their own for a few hours. They have superpowers after all. Besides, Tabitha is probably busy with Barbara right now."  
Oswald blushed furiously, the implications of Ed's offer racing through his mind.

He smiled and pressed a sweet kiss to Ed's lips. Their touch was already becoming addicting. "I think I would like that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I know amnesia can't be healed by kissing someone but I couldn't resist :D
> 
> IT'S OVER!  
> My second multichapter fic on this site holy shit  
> Every single comment and kudo made me day, seriously. Y'all are way too nice, THANK YOU


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